Well after a very odd week (up and down like a rollercoaster) and a depressed post a couple of days ago it definately ended on a high.
After weeks of lathargicness, and inability to exercise (when I tried I did half of what I normally did and ended up so exhausted I couldn't even get off of the sofa to get a drink for 30 mins) I finally got back into the swing last weekend.
Saturday I skated for the first time (no snow!) and managed 6km's, sunday I went running and also managed 6km's. Not the quickest I've ever done the 6KM's in question - but a good start. And I managed to join in the office running training group for the first time this year (I missed the first 4 due to a mixture of illness and appointments).
Hopefully today I'll get a chance to go skating again - I have to say I do prefer it to running...
And the high?
I called my parents last night (I have odered them a Wii and Wii Fit Plus from amazon and the first half arrived last night). We chatted about the Wii and general stuff, and then got on to the subject of me (god that sounds self obsessed...). I wanted to know if they had decided to speak to anyone. Turns out my mum has, but my dad doesn't have anyone just yet.
Mum told her best friend, she picked this friend as they have a good relationship and she is married to someone with a gay son. Her friend took it well, and they have had a good talk. Mum says that once she told her she felt like a weight had been lifted (sound familiar anyone?) so it's really done her good. Her friend said that she wouldn't tell her husband, but mum said no, please do - "his dad needs someone to talk to as well, and it would be nice if we could all talk about this together if needed".
She's been to her doctor who is going to try and get hold of the books that doctors use for dealing with transgendered people, and try to find a professional for them to speak to. The problem I have here is that they may have to pay, which they have said they will do. But they are not the highest paid people and I feel really guilty at them having to pay out because of me. I would offer to pay for them, but if the worst happends between Mrs Stace and I then I do not know *if* I can afford to do that for them as I'll have some quite big bills coming.
I found out that she has also told her boss - she was having some bad days at work - who has apparently also been fine about it, and offered help if and when mum needs it.
And someone who she will never tell: another one of her good friends. Whilst at work the son a a resident (she works in a care home) who is gay was helping his dad into a chair in the sun and she made a comment. Not in itself homophobic, but said in a way that made mum decide that she wouldn't know. It's a shame she has that attitude about people who are different as it is another clsoe friend of mum who keep son offering help as she can see something is bothering her.
Then I got on to two people who I feel I have to tell (why does you brain do this to you, who do you have the *need* to tell people?).
The first is my brother. I said I would never tell him, but I feel that it is just not on. He is the only close family member that does not know - and I feel that it not fair on him. I would not want to find out at some point in the future that everybody knew except for me, and I can't do that to him. I have no idea how he is going to take it, and I have to wait as well as I am not going to do it over the phone and I do not know when I am going to see him again.
And the other is my boss. I just can't keep on doing the cloak and dagger discussions when we discuss how I am doing. He'll be fine with it I'm sure. Whilst running we had a great conversatioin about Dutch politics. (The Dutch goverment fell a week ago). He said that he always voted liberal 'because it's always better that someone is who they, than they struggle to fit into someones arbitary stereotype that has been imposed on them'. That was very nice to hear as you can imagine.
We discussed how to tell both of them (I am so relieved that I can discuss this with my parents). Bascically with my brother I just have to tell him face to face. Either he is going to take it well, or he is going to flip and walk off.
My boss... We think that asking him to go for a drink after work one day and telling him outside of the office envronment is likely to be the best idea. I'm going to speak to him on Monday I think.
By this point their food had been ruined (more guilt for me that mum said don't be daft - they'd never hang up on me when discussing something like this) and they had to get ready for a long trip they are probably on as I write this (my brother has given them a car from his lot at cost and is driving to Glasgow to swap it with mums current car) so I had a quick chat with dad and we called it a night - I'm going to call them on Sunday and set up a web chat so I can help them put thier Wii on the TV.
And the Promise of the title?
Half way through the talk mum said their was one thing she was scared of (I thought she was going to say if you decide to transition). What she was worried about was 'If you decide to transition that you start to dress outragously' She is worried that I am going to go all out OTT and end up a media interpretation of a transsexual. So I told her what my style is (I'm Smart Casual in bloke mode and Smart Casual in Stacy mode. The style doesn't change, just the clothes. She asked what smart casual was so I told her my favorite outfit (My new heels - 2 1/2 inch stilettos, not too high, skin or black tights, a beige canvas above the knee skirt and a black top). Basically what a 33 year old woman could wear to the office. That pleased both of us. Her knowing what my style is, and me discussing an outfit for Stacy with my mum.
Well I think I've waffled long enough her... Have a good weekend all!