Friday, 5 February 2010

Waking from a week of zombiefication

Well things are definately on the up. I only woke up 3 or 4 times last night, and got back to sleep reasonably quickly. There is still a little pain in the throat, and my nose has decided it's time to join the fun.

But... After sleeping I no longer feel like a zombie. Which was definately the case yesterday. I was even going to walk my normal running route until I saw the rain coming. Ho hum.

I can even call my parents again as talking is no longer painful. The last time I spoke to them was last wednesday (the good phone call) and I hope they don't think that's the reason I haven't called. When I do I want to leave all talk of GID behind. I just want a chat with my parents - something I have not done this year. But if they get onto the subject I don't wan to tell them I don't want to talk about it. We'll see.

I have a question for anyone who feels like they can answer though...

Why are some things acceptable for women to do, but not transgendered people?

The two things specifically: Rugby and cars / motorbikes.

Both of which give people a reason to question me. I appriciate that they feel the need to do so, and that if I wasn't a petrol head that likes the 6 nations it would be something else (my geekness maybe?), but it does grind when I hear the same things from different people.

Even worse when I point out that most of the time I go to the pub with women to watch the rugby, and that the person in the office who knew most about Top Gear (after me) was a woman.

This gets one of two answers... They know you like it so they speak to you about it - because I imagine that women are clamouring trying to find things to speak to one person in the office about.

Or... Well some girls do, but it doesn't mean that you should if you are what you say you are.

It's the total opposite of the word that Leslie used on her blog today 'Validation'. And leaves me feeling like a fake...

Sorry this was meant to be a more positive post. I'll try harder next time.


  1. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with being transgendered and into cars, bikes or rugby. Unless it's Rubgy League.

    Indeed it's been a pleasant surprise to me to find quite a few of our number for whom the smell of burning rubber or Castrol R represents excitement rather than something nasty.

    If there's something we have that other people don't it's the ability to pick the best bits of both our male and female sides. For me that means I'd happily ditch my testosterone-fueled aggression so I'm sorry, for me rugby was left behind at school. But why should that mean I have to lose my pleasure in the mechanical intricacies of a motor vehicle or the adrenaline high of a perfect set of twisties with your knee down? Life would be really boring if we just said "Right, we're girls now, let's just do girly things".

    Good to hear you're sleeping. Amazing feeling, isn't it.

  2. Good to hear you are starting to feel better.

    What people think is masculine or feminine is so subjective. Some women hate sports, some love it. The same hold for men. Chart your own course and don't apologize for it. If someone says how can you be a girl, and still like motor sports, point them to Danica Patrick, who is just gorgeous, and nearly won the Indy 500 a couple of years ago. She is now contemplating driving in the NASCAR Cup Series. That's about as rough and tumble a racing series, anywhere on asphalt. She's no shrinking violet, that's for sure!

    Melissa XX

  3. Thanks both... It's heading in the right direction. Hopefully I can be back at my desk in the office on Monday

    For the Rugby it's definately watching. When I was at school I was 5"10 and 9 stone. That kind of frame doesn't do well on a rugby field :)

    I must admit that my wife joked that she was dissapointed that the positives she could see were not going to happen (throw out the xbox and no more Jeremy Clarkson :) )

    The issue doesn't seem to be that they don't think that girls can do those things, but that transgendered girls shouldn't do those things. See how things change over time.

    On a very much positive note though! I managed a phone call withonly one reference to GID with my mum. And then it was only to day that the tonsilitis was probably worse because I was down at the moment. It was very nice to just chat again.

  4. On Gok Wan's fashion show last week (great show btw), he featured a former FEMALE biker who had an accident. So you see you can be feminine and like motorsport to the point of being an active participant.I honestly don't feel there's a difference between those born in the physical female form and those of us who weren't as had you of born born in that physical form you'd of been doing those things. Maybe even encouraged more too.
    Sure there's a stereotype about us like we just want to be dainty fashion conscious ladies - like the 50's woman - but just be you.
    Love Caroline (Mc1)

  5. Let's see, where do I start?

    Well, first things first: I am thrilled that you had a good night's sleep, Stace! Been there, done that. Oh, do I know the zombie feeling.

    Rugby....Is that the game where they hit balls with sticks? Kind of like some weird version of American baseball? Honestly, I don't have a clue what it is but why should I have a problem with someone who is transgendered liking a particular sport? Jenny made very good points.

    Now, cars and bike riding I can relate to a bit. I did used to build engines and race cars. It was my way of trying to clear the somewhat girly image the kids had of me in high school. I got in with a group of guys who were into cars and they taught me a lot about engines. I had a lot of fun doing that and built my own street legal race car.

    I also had a dirt bike that I rode with the same group. We did crazy things that could have gotten us all killed. I am not in the least bit embarrassed about this part of my life. It was a fun way to just mask the trans side of me.

    And there are plenty of girls who ride bikes and look pretty darn hot on them. Rebecca (blogger) is one of them. She carried this one over from her male life. I'm still waiting for a ride on the back of her bike.

    Calie xxx

  6. Rugby....Is that the game where they hit balls with sticks? Kind of like some weird version of American baseball? Honestly, I don't have a clue what it is ...

    Think of it as a bit like American football (oval ball, touchdowns etc...), except American football where the same players stay on the field for the whole game and they don't stop the play every 30 seconds. :)

  7. Is Top Gear still about cars? I like it more now it's all just a good laugh :)

    As an aside, my sister played Rugby and was a biker too. There was nothing butch about her. :)

  8. Calie: A nights sleepmakes the word of difference. This morning I woke up with nearly 6 hours uninterupted under my belt. That's more than I normally manage when I am healthy. Still painful when I wake up, but from experience I know that I am going to have that for the next week or two... As long as I can sleep I can live with it.

    As for rugby... I think that Jenny put it best, but I would like to add they play without the protective padding an helmets as well.

    I love my cars, and can remove the engine from the Spitfire when I need to (at one point I was doing it every trip to the UK - arrive in Friday and remove the engine, fix it Saturday, fit it Sunday, drive back after Sunday lunch). But... As I explained to my mother in law, I do all of the work on the cars through necessity. I could not afford to pay someone to do it so it was a case of doing it or not owning the car. If it was possible to do it without getting oily hands or removing knuckles I may think differently - they are the things I hate most about it. The same for the stupid amount of time I spent detailing my cars in the past. I once spent 8 hours polishing, waxing etc on the Spitfire. I didn't really enjoy it, and it was very hard work - but the results were spectacular, and it was the results I was after.

    And thinking back to the time i have spent doing that in the past - wow did I waste a lot of time :)

    Lynn: I'm sure they have cars on there sometimes :) But the new format is a lot of fun!

  9. Watch a lass do the Blue Ridge Parkway on a liter Ducati Monster. And then ask the world about women and motorcycling. On the other hand, it might be easier to ask Harley Davidson, who, even in these harsh economic times, have a special program for women motorcyclists.

    Heck, the new Ducati Monsters are aimed at female buyers! I don't know if Miguel Galluzi approves of what Bart Janssen-Groesbeek (I had to look his name up, sorry) has done with the 696, but it sure has sold to a lot of women, if the anecdotes I hear are true! (I performance, it's comparable to my 2006 850cc Monster, but not as pure in styling, and definitely not as expensive to maintain. I feel like crying.)

    Don't try to fit into expectations of others. Life from art? Or life from Ducati? Same thing, really. :-)

    Carolyn Ann

  10. Ahhh, Ducati's... If it wasn't for the 1000 euro service costs that you pay twice as often as you pay for a Suzuki there would be a 748 in my back garden now... Oh and the 12000 euro 2nd hand price :(

    Alas, it's just a pipedream for the moment.