Friday, 12 February 2010

Good news, bad news and running into celebrities

Well what a week this has been...

Back to work after a weeks sick leave - trying to catch up with the mess that happened when I was not here. I don't know whether to take the fact that things fall apart when I'm not here as a compliment or whether it means I am not doing my job right in the first place...

I UPS'd my new amp back to the UK on Tuesday. Brought a nice amp, very happy with the sound and then it broke. Called the shop (in Leicester), they called Cyrus, they said call the importer in Holland who will fix it under the european gurantee. They said we are not touching it. After a lot of discussion it was posted directly to Cyrus on Tuesday, who have said three weeks minmum to fix it...

Wednesday I nearly outed myself to my whole dance class apparently. Since coming out to all my close family I have become to be a lot less mindful of my mannarisms, I haven't started to do feminine manarisms, I've stopped conciously making myself have male manarisms (I've started to relax in their company more) unfortunatley I've also started to relax in other company which I hadn't realised... During the break in the class Mrs Stace and I were talking to the other couples and apparently the way I was holding my arms against my chest were not quite as masculine as I normally try to come over. Add to that long, shaped nails (the only outward sign I give - I stopped biting my nails and love them now - but they are just past the brink of being too long for a man I think) and oops. I don't think anyone noticed - Mrs Stace just pointed it out by making the same guesture dramatically to me when we were all walking off, with a smile I might add.

Yesterday the estate agent came around and looked around the house.

The good news - the house is quite saleable. It's in good condition (except the kitchen) in a good neighbourhood and is a good size (for a Dutch house). It has gone up in value since we brought it.

The bad news - the kitchen will put buyers off because the rest of the house is in too good a condition, it is the only thing that would stop someone simply moving in rather than having to work on it first. For the target market (my age group) this is a downer.
If we put a new kitchen it would help sell the house, but we would lose 5K between the cost of the it and the increase in value of the house.
It has gone up in value - but only to the extent that we would cover the mortgage rather than actually make any money (In Holland you normally take a mortgage to cover the house and costs of buying for your first house rather than putting a big deposit down and paying the costs out of your pocket)

This does mean that one of us taking the mortgage over becomes a real possibility (esp as the mortgage is 200 a month less than I thought we paid - yes I know that I should know these things having signed for it 5 years ago, but it's a direct payment so I don't really thing about it now). I think that we both prefer the option of one of us taking it as opposed to selling it on.

But if we do that it is not fair to the other person to fit a kitchen now out of our joint savings. Swings and roundabouts.

That was a lot to take in, and I think it's going to be a few weeks before we have it worked through in our heads, what with everything else that is going through them.

I also had a conversation with Mrs Stace last night about how surreal everything seems at the moment. Here we are discussing splitting up after 10 years (6 of them married) like we are discussing the weather. No arguments, no pot throwing, no shouting. Just rational discusions. Whilst sitting cuddling on the sofa, or at the table over food. It seems very odd to still be so in love with each other and still talking about these subjects. She agrees. Don't get me wrong - I don't want to shout and scream at each other - there bad things lie - but it just seems surreal.

And then to prove myself a hypocrite I had to stop that direction of thought as it had me on the verge of tears at the end of the conversation.

We'll see. I'm neither optimistic, nor pessimistic, just numb and trying to get through the days. Please don't feel too sorry for me just yet - most of the time I don't. I've cried, will cry more in the future probably, but as we are still quite close I'm trying not to worry about what the future holds just yet.

And finally (as they like to say on the news)...

I work in Hilversum - Media City they call it (well mediastad actually but I translated). There are lots of celebs around, and indeed my office is just 2 mins from the MediaPark where most of the TV stations have thir studios etc.

Even so I was a little surprised when a Ducth rapper / TV Presenter Lange Frans ran into me this morning. Quite surprised as I was stopping for a red light at the time...

When swapping names and addresses I thought I know you... So when I got to the office I googled his name and sure enough it came back as him. Drives a lot more down to earth car than I would have expected (2.0D Merc C class). Thankfully Volvo make good towing hitches so it seems the damage is limited to replacing that - the towing ball has been bent by an inch or so and nothing on the car itself. So I have his address, phone number and on Monday I should have his insurance details as well :)

Have a good weekend all,


  1. I have become to be a lot less mindful of my mannarisms

    That rings a few bells :) For what it's worth I agree, in that it's not doing femine mannerisms, but dropping the pretense of butch ones.

  2. Regarding the mannerisms, I can so relate. I will fall into the feminine mannerisms very naturally when I am (1) around other women, (2) around my trans friends, and(3) when I have had a couple glasses of wine. I REALLY need to watch myself as far as (1) and (3) are concerned.

    Regarding the separation, I do understand, Stace, but I just hate to hear of trans families breaking up. I so understand, and it could happen to me someday, but it still brings me to tears just thinking about it.

    Calie xxx

  3. I find it harder at the moment as I am constantly tired from the cold that refuses to give up. Once I get tired I get lazy and just sink into cosy poitions. Fine when with family that know, less fine when with friends or more distant relatives...

    Calie: I cried a lot during december, less but still an amount in January. If it comes to it, and I hope it doesn't, I'll cry again undoubtedly. But still, the most important thing for me is that we remain friends.