Well my life CV has just been sent off to my therapist in preparation for my next session.
Was everything there? Probably not. But I could go back and rewrite it hundreds of times I think without remembering everything.
It is however one of the most honest and open things I have ever written. There were tears of hapiness in my eyes from the good times, my wedding day for one, from the bad a sort of detached 'god I hated that time' but nothing more. I still have to decide if I not getting upset is a good thing, of if the detachment is a bad thing...
My life in 16 pages and 10000 words...
Don't get scared if I don't update for a week or so - I am not going to be able to blog for a week or so!
Yes I did nearly 8,500 words. Like you it was wonderful to get it out on papare in 1 place.
ReplyDeleteI personally think its good to let your emotions come out. They say things that sometimes we dont listen to. Ignore them at our peril.
I look forward to hearing form you soon.
x
I'm just glad that i didn't have to write something as complete as you and Lisa have had to do. But strangely enough I wrote my life story after I started writing some intense poetry which was triggered by my one year experience in Vietnam. Writing my poetry forced me to remember my prior life experiences as a father, husband and military veteran.
ReplyDeleteSarah
Lisa: I (conciously) have nothing against my emotions coming out, but I think that constantly being told that boys don't cry during my formative years has made it very difficult. I'm happy that that I connect to the happy memories though!
ReplyDeleteSarah: This isn't even for the clinic at the VU, this is just for my therapist. He asked for it so that he could get to know my background, and who I have been throughout my life a little before our next session. If they need a life story at the VU though at least I now have it written...
Stace
Sometimes detactment from memories isn't a bad thing. It can let you look at something you once found upsetting (and the opposite) and wonder why you felt that way.
ReplyDeleteEqually, there's stuff that isn't nothing but almost pure emotion: first love, first death, etc. Events that'll always be with you and at the risk of sounding melodramtic: events you don't get over, just used to.
That Life CV sounded like a task and a half... even for a blogger :)
I have a horrible memory and would have only gotten about 5000 words at best.
ReplyDeleteWill you post your story? god knows I like long posts. :)
B
Lynn: I'm not sure how big a task it was to be honest... It semed daunting at the start of it. But once I started to actually write it seemed to come flowing out.
ReplyDeleteI know that I have missed a lot out, but if I was to put everything in there I think that it would be far too long to be useful :) All the important bits are there, and as an insight into my life so far I think it suffices...
Bree: Posting it??? Maybe I'll do sections, maybe not... My mum asked if she could read it. I said no emphatically :)
Stace
I think that feeling distant from the bad memories right now is a good thing. That's the stuff your therapist will want to explore with you. You will learn to release that emotion in a controlled environment, with an impartial party to help you view things more clearly.
ReplyDeleteI'm very excited for you. Therapy can be such a positive experience!
I suppose emotions at the good things is the right way.
ReplyDeleteGoing through old photo's with my parents whilst in the UK last week the other thing that struck me is that it seems an age ago that I was the bullied, short, skinny kid. It's just not me anymore...
The first session was good. And today, if my courage doesn't abandon me, Stace will be going. Should be interesting for the neighbours :)
Stace