Damn My Memory

You know I knew exactly what was going to go into this blog yesterday, now poof it's gone...

Oh well, if I remember I'll have something to post tomorrow...

Something that did happen yesterday...  I was at a leadership meeting, all team leads getting together to discuss how implementation of new core values is going (within IT it's not we're fairly autonomous as it is...)

The meeting went well, much better than I was expecting actually, when we had our group exercise the CEO stayed in our room to check his mails.  We got the most important part of the exercise completed and started a different discussion.  At this point the CEO finished his mails and came over and joined in.  This is something that I love about the company - you can say what you want to the management and they will listen to you.  Doesn't always change anything, but they listen to your concerns at least and where possible do something.

The question of what we need to change in the way we work came up.  I was with someone from the banking business unit, from the car insurance business unit and the life insurance business unit.  What I need for IT is different to what they need.  So I stole the conversation a little and said what need purely from an IT point of view.  I need more freedom from upper management, more trust from upper management and less interference from them.  When I give a finger in the air estimation that is exactly what is - don't press me for a detailed breakdown when I have nothing more than a cigarette packet pre spec.  This was we can work with the business in making our site better, and not just spend weeks getting solid estimates for the details sorted.

He took it well, and this is something that is going to change I think - I was backed up by the people from the business in the same group that they find it very useful when we do this, we can come up with solutions that that don't think off as we have a little more distance.

Anyway that was good, but what happened after was much better.

I don't do well in groups; I shrink into the background and keep quiet.  I was starting to do that a little yesterday when two of the women I was working with started to talk about books, that is a conversation I can get into easily (though didn't have the guts to join in the chick-lit conversation as emphatically, damn my self confidence :p ) and we got chatting.  It was great, and I have to say I let go a little (seeing as the assumption in the office is that I am closet gay I don't see the point in trying hard to hide any more, *if* I am enjoying myself...).  Then suddenly everyone noticed that I was doing the conversation in Dutch and another conversation got going about a) me speaking too much English in the office when my Dutch is good enough, and b) the issues facing the call centre trying to decipher English being spoken by both sides of the conversation when neither side speaks it natively.  I found that strange - the site is completely Dutch, if you can close an insurance policy on it then you must have some idea of the language...

To finish the day off I decided to be a little assertive.  I was tired, and my IBS has been giving me grief for a couple of days so didn't want to stay late.  When I leave I normally wait until someone else has already gone (hate being the first to leave) and try to sneak out without being noticed.  Yesterday I made myself say goodbye to everyone before leaving, when I was ready - meaning I was the first.  It was hard - but it felt good to actually have people see me for a change...