Just a quickie today about something that strikes me as odd. I've gone over bits of it before, but there is new input now.
I don't normally go into Mrs Stace's therapy. She tells me what she wants to tell me, and I won't blog about it as that is her personal business not mine.
Her therapist came up with something this week that I found interesting. I've said before that I always thought I accepted that I was trans. I tried to ignore it certainly, but I always thought that I accepted it.
Her therapist seems to think that this isn't the case. I said after Tuesday at the VU that it got scary as each step makes it more real to me. Mrs Stace does not have this problem. Her husband sitting there dressed and made up kind of makes it real enough for her.
Her therapist says that points to me not accepting it (or rather that she has accepted it better than I have at present), which thinking about it makes sense. What does that mean for me? That I have simply acknowledged it? That I am simply terrified for the future and what may lie there?
It also gives me another question. If I have simply acknowledged it how do you move from that to aceptance?
I have to get the courage to call the therapist in Amsterdam at some point today. It was a bank holiday yesterday, and both Mrs Stace and I have taken a bridging day to give us a long weekend. That gives me enough time to call the guy and get something arranged.
We'll see how it goes...
Right now it's too early to call and the sun is shining for the first time this week so I'm going for a skate.