Friday, 15 January 2010

End of the week

Well that's the end of the first real week of the new year - a week back in the office and I need a vacation!

Things are moving very slowly on the help front - still waiting for the first appointment at the hospital, if I don't have it by waiting on the floor when I get in tonight I'll call on Monday to make sure that it's not been lost in the post.

I've managed to do three presentations about the new system that we are going to use in the office (Team Foundation Server). First was to a group who are going to use it a lot, once I got over my nerves I actually enjoyed that session. Everybody engaged with the presentation and we did a sort of brainstorming towards the end.

The next two were to the business who give the projects to our departments. That was 2 hours of watching bored faces who didn't care, and won't until I get inundated with mails about how to use the new software. We'll see...

As with the rest of europe the weather here has been cold and white all week, making travelling interesting, and nearly landing me on my back a few times trying to catch a train, but nothing too serious - not like Scotland was a couple of weeks ago.

The office tried to use the cold weather to turn the car park into a skating rink (they turn it into a beach volleyball field sometimes in the summer). It worked for a couple of days, but it just wasn't cold enough to freeze the amount of water needed. I did at least get to play on the ice in the car this morning...

Yesterday was a really downer. It was one of those days when I just couldn't get my mind out of thoughts of everyone knowing, and what the next year will bring, and a little upset after the second of the business presentations. I had just had an appointment with the company doctor about progress over Christmas (I thought that keeping her informed was a good idea so that the company knows my state of mind) and was in the middle of a small meeting at my desk about release management for the coming weeks when one of the guys noticed me filing my nails (I've taken to this instead of biting my nails, but am doing it subconciously). He made a comment about me doing that, and owning 'millions' of pairs of shoes. Now I've made of point of just going with the joke here to try and hide stuff... So I just said 'You don't need to worry until I arrive in stillettos' and everyone laughed. Except one person who freaked out that he would be terrified if I did anything like that (everyone just stared at him gone out...) Again, tried to joke it out - as long as I don't stand on your feet, haha. He then goes on to tell a storey of a previous company where one of the truck drivers did turn up dressed one day so they took photos and mailed the whole company laughing... Whilst the description of the outfit wasn't what I would call appropriate for work, the malicousness that came into his voice really got me. In the state I was in I nearly had to leg it out of the room, thankfully a call came in about that I needed to take and it took my mind of off it.

Improved in the evening though. After work I met my friend who I told in the pub and we had a long chat. Talking openly about it really helps with the dysphoria part... After 1/2 hour (and 1 VAT) he noted that I was a lot more relaced and behaving more like myself than when I arrived... Stayed chating for a couple of hours (and a couple more VAT's) and left in much better spirits...

Oh well, time to get the weekly shopping in. Have a good weekend all... (Hope this was a a little happier post than I've been managing of late)

Oh and I finally found out how to list the blogs I read in the sidebar!

PS: Calie - No pills since yesterday morning


  1. What an arse your colleague is! I suspect I'd have given him the bollocking he deserves for his intolerance. I once did something similar at a pub get-together of some of my blokey car mates, it amused me that they thereafter have me marked as right-on politically correct rather than guessing I might be TG myself.

    Ignore him, he's a jerk.

  2. He then goes on to tell...

    Methinks the bigot, doth protest too much :)

    What a nob. I'm not surprised people stared at him. Aren't some people wound tight? :D

    Ooo. Blog sidebar? Very nice and yet more reading material :)

  3. Thanks both.

    Maybe if I had been in a better frame of mind I may have said something (I have in the past when my indian colleague went off on one). But the way he went just took me by surprise so much.

    I suppose if I have to take something positive from it, it wold be the reaction of the others that were there - esp one guy that had a go at him in the way that I should have done (not about his previous job, but about the being terrified should I turn up in my stelletos).

  4. OK, Stace, I'm going to keep checking on those pills!!

    Some time ago, I walked into a conversation about a transsexual who had transitioned while working with one of those in the conversation. Lots of joking. I turned around and walked out. I didn't say a thing. They all worked for me and I should have set them straight. I didn't because I did not want them to suspect the inner me.

    I had a lot of guilt following that. I swore I would never let that happen again. Several months ago, I walked into a conversation at work, between two women, about the transwoman in a program called Real World on the US network, MTV. This time, I took a big breath and told them that I have a good friend who is a transsexual. I went on to make it clear that she would not have appreciated the comments. I told them it was wrong. They looked at me and agreed and actually commented that my friend must have been a very strong person to follow through with her transition.

    So, at some point you just need to be straight with your work mates and hope they will understand. I bet any future joking stops immediately.

    Calie xxx

  5. Calie: 6 days and still clean ;) I think that the 7 most important people knowing (still don't know if I should tell my brother) and all reacting well has quelled the need for them... See if it stays that way.

    As for the guy... It's the first time over here that I have seen someone (who is Dutch at least) have such a malevolent reaction. It really hit me. I know that I should speak up, but then I just have the fear of people seeing through my, already paper thin, veil of being one of the boys...