Sunday, 29 May 2011

In which my sister in law meets Stacy

Well it's the morning after the night before, and I am still sitting here in the make up from last night as it was very late (not something I do very often!)

I was quite nervous - in fact almost as nervous as when my parents met Stacy for the first (only so far) time.  I started very early, in fact I painted my nails (also something that I do not do very often) whilst watching the Monaco qualification.  I managed one hand, but I had to ask Mrs Stace to do my right hand as it was not going to be able to do it left handed.  Thankfully she said OK and did a great job (so I currently have metallic purple nails - a present from the wife of a colleague).

After the qualification was finished I spent a age shaping my brows (as much as I dare to do) and shaving.  I got dressed, moisturised and did my hair and then went to prepare food.

We ate (quiche with salad and rosemary - sea salt potatoes) and then I did my make up (another 30 minutes!) and relaxed (haha) in front of Dr Who.

We need to wait until my niece and nephew were asleep in bed, as we do not want to confuse them with male me, Stacy, male me. After Dr Who had finished Mrs Stace called to check that they were OK and we left.  Mrs Stace drove so that I did not have to change shoes in the car.  I'm also not sure how I would have felt being in in control with the shakes that I had from the nerves.

We arrived, parked and went to their house.  And I got a very good reaction from both my sister in law and her husband.  There were shocked smiles of course, but both said that I looked good, and very feminine and very not male me.  I asked if it was better than they had in their head and my sister in law just said that she had lots of strange thoughts and this was nothing like any of them.  I do feel sorry for the people who have to get their head around the situation.  They have known me for 11 years, and even though they have known about Stacy for 18 months now it's completely different from seeing me as Stacy.

We sat and talked, looking occasionally to the football. As my sister in law joked - you come as a woman for the first time and what do we do, watch football!  Something we have never done with them in the past - I had never heard of Messi until last years world cup!  Not that there is anything that says you can't do that as a woman, it's just something that I would never do as male me...

For the first hour there was lots of staring as they tried to get their heads sorted (nothing bad, just shocked).  But we ended up chatting about things in general and just having a pleasant evening.

As they don't have stairs to leave their house there was nothing for me to fall down (which is good as this time I was in heels and had been drinking red wine).  So I stepped out of the house with no problem.

Until it was obvious how gusty the wind was and I had to hold my skirt down.  I don't know how bad the first gust was, but it had my sister in law in hysterics.  So that's fall down the stairs when I left last time I introduced Stacy to someone, and this time possibly flashing my in laws.  Wonderful :)

I think the biggest positive is that they even tried to call me Stacy, and use the correct pronouns.  I had told them at the start of the evening that I was not going to correct them that visit.  I think getting your head around  me as Stacy is enough for one night, the corrections (should they be needed) can come later.  After last night I don't think it's going to be an issue.  Though my sister in law is worried about calling me Stacy when we go to visit before the kids know me as her :)


  1. ity sounds like a good meeting for all :-)

  2. I can well understand the nerves but you are always positive and it makes such a difference. Very pleased for you and well done to Mrs S as well. She is a star.

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  4. Nikki: Thanks for the comment, it was a great meeting for all involved I think. It's a couple who mean a lot to me, meeting Stace for the first time (you can see how much they mean to me by how nervous I was...) and I think it was good for them as they saw that I am just a mid thirties woman...

    Becca: I do my best to be positive, it doesn't always work - but I try. When I fail at positive it just makes everything else so much more work and so difficult. I have noticed that being positive is also like being confident. Even when you are not feeling it, it can work wonders to try and project it!

    Mrs Stace is an absolute star! I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have her on side.

    Zell: :) The questions came 18 months ago when they first found out about Stacy. Saturday was just about the stares are they tried to match the me they knew to the me that was sitting in front of them.

    They said something to Mrs Stace afterwards that I think they felt worried about telling me - but is actually a big compliment as far as I am concerned. After a while when we got chatting they forgot that I was there as Stacy as I was just me. That has to be one of my favourite compliments!


  5. I loved this post...and I love Mrs. Stace! You are a lucky girl, Stace.

    Calie xxx

  6. Thanks Calie.

    I am, sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am with my parents, friends and Mrs Stace. Especially her :)