Thursday, 31 March 2011

Nothing, Nothing, Slow, QUICK QUICK QUICK

About 12 months ago I had my intake appointment at the VU gender clinic.  they said at the time that it would take about 9 months to get the next appointment...

Now my therapist had already warned me that it takes longer than the 9 months that they try to stick to, so it wasn't too bad that it took longer than we initially thought.  My therapy was going well, and to be honest the delay was just giving me a chance to go work with my therapist - so it wasn't too bad.

A couple of weeks ago I sent them a mail to see if there was anything known about when my next appointment would be.  Nothing came back (I do know just how stressed and overworked they are so I am not overly annoyed by that)  so I called them on Monday and was told they had to find my files and that they would call me back.  On Wednesday I called them again and was told that they had a planning meeting for the psychiatrists and I would be called back today to make an appointment.  Result!

So at 11:50 I excused myself form the team lead meeting I was in (actually at that point the discussion was about a part of the system that I have nothing to do with, and no knowledge of so it wasn't too bad - and I had warned my boss that if I hadn't had a call by that time I would be making the call).

I got through with a few minutes to spare, the phone lines are unmanned after midday so you have to call in the morning, and was asked can you come on Monday at 3pm?

The same thing happened for the intake appointment - wait for a while and then suddenly 'can you come tomorrow'.

So now I am a bag of nerves...  I'm going to work from home on Monday morning and then leave from here, rather than sitting in the office first.

Down side...  I managed to get an appointment a couple of days after laser - when it's difficult to shave and get a nice look on my chin...  Oh well, beggars can't be choosers I suppose...

I've also been trying to break a few more barriers today (one of those barriers I have to break is thinking of everything as a barrier I suppose).

My new toy was delivered to the shop today (Mrs Staces laptop is dying so I have replaced mine and am handing mine down to her).  I was actually happy that it was today - it meant an excuse to take a trip on the way to therapy as it's just down the road.  So Stacy picked the laptop up.  I should have really ordered it under her name as well really - every time I was on the phone to them they thought I was my wife anyway.  Live and learn!  In the shop I had no issues though.

Outside I had a few.  There were some workers digging the street up next to the door of the shop.  In the middle of an industrial estate (200 euros cheaper than buying from a high street shop) I could have done without it.  I got comments.  Positive comments (as Mrs Stace and my therapist have pointed out - 'Lekker Ding'), but they did make me feel uncomfortable.  I have never had that before - I guess you have to get used to it.

Then afterwards I decided to break the petrol station barrier.  I don't know why, but filling up with fuel has always worried me as Stacy.  So I thought whilst I am on a roll, why not just do it!  There was a station nearby so I filled up.  Also no issues - absolutely normalcy :)  Except that in the middle of a windswept industrial estate I had to keep hold on to the hem of my skirt to stop it flying!

All in all a great day :)

Now breathe!


  1. It's like that. Once you break one barrier the others just come faster and faster.

    I hope your clinic appointment goes well for you and you get what you need from it.

    Rachel xxx

  2. I understand it makes you feel uncomfortable being called “Lekker Ding” but after you have experienced less polite “whistles” you will think back on it as quite innocent. At least it proves you are street proof and don’t have to hold your breath while walking by.

  3. You're beating me to it by a couple of months then! Take it easy and it will all pass without incident.

    I believe I remarked once before that you have the walk. I've proved myself ready for a quiet restaurant in the evening but I think I'm still way behind you on busy petrol stations.

  4. I had to run Lekker Ding through a translator to find out it meant "nice think". You should be ecstatic! Lucky girl! :)

    Melissa XX

  5. Excuse my typo, that would be "nice thing". :)

    Melissa XX

  6. Your right it is a great day! That should give you a lot of confidence. Xx

  7. Rachel: I have two major ones remaining... Grocery shopping and taking the bus. When I go on Monday I'll be in the car unfortunately...

    Corinna: It could have undoubtedly been worse. Maybe it was the nerves coming over from picking up the laptop (I had ordered it using my male name, and was concerned about it).

    But it made me worry a little...

    Jenny: I'm sure it'll be fine, just terrified. My therapist asked me why I am scared and I just can't answer that question. I just am...

    You have, and I may have to start believing you soon :)

    Melissa: That is indeed what it means (the literal translation does work). I was just not expecting it, and it did make me quite uncomfortable...

    Lisa: It has done wonders for my confidence I think. I don't think that it was realisation that worrying about doing things is worse than actually doing them. You have the big bump to get over, but once you do it you think "was that it?"

    Thanks for the comments all,