Sunday, 31 October 2010

Inytroducing Stacy to my parents

Well the clocks have gone back and I am now up even earlier than normal...  On the bright side it gives me a chance to write this…

First an apology, between having my parents here and trying to get my DTR laptop working I’ve read nothing in the past half week.  I think it’s going to be a while before I get up to date again.  So sorry if it seems I am being quiet.  Trust me when trying to get the computer working I’m not :)

It’s been great having my folks here.  We’ve just spent time relaxing and chatting, a few trips shopping (Ikea etc.) and watching some films.  I went for a walk yesterday with my dad around the lake behind the house.  It was a nice afternoon, warmish and sunny, and we chatted about all things petrol (my Spitfire, my bikes, the bikes that he used to ride – and the differences between riding a bike from his youth against the sort of machines I ride).  Then we had a chat about how they are coping with what I am going through.  Dad just has no idea – either of what the future holds or what he can do to help.  Mum is still blaming herself, thinking that she must have done something in order to cause it.  Dad and I are trying to tell her that she shouldn’t be blaming herself, but I guess that is just going to take time.

Dad said that he just a saw a big black hole, and that was why he hasn’t spoken to anyone (something mum and I are trying to get him to do) – because he would not know what to say.  I know that he was concerned that I was going to be some TV drag queen, and I said that maybe when I was showing mum one of my outfits the last time we went to see them that we should have got dad in there as well.  By this time we had stopped walking and were sitting on a terrace looking out over the lake, but the chill was coming and being a mechanic for coming up got half a decade has made him quite susceptible to the cold so we started for home.

Yesterday evening I had planned on introducing my parents to Stacy.  I went upstairs to get changed and stabbed myself in both eyes with mascara I was shaking so much.  It took me an hour or so to get changed and then I very nervously came down stairs.

The reaction that I got was not the one I was expecting.  They had both said expect us to be shocked and confused when we first see you – but don’t worry about us leaving you; just give us time.

What I got was my mum rushing over to me saying that I looked great – which caused me to start crying, which caused her to start crying and blaming herself again.  And a long three way hug with her and my dad (which set him off as well).  My dad said that I looked his sister when she was younger, and my mum thinks I look like a thinner version of her from when she was younger.  They both said that I looked better as Stacy than I do in day to day; and then made great pains to point out that they were not saying anything about how I looked normally.  Mum said that she really see’s now that I should have been born a girl.

I spent the evening as Stacy, we ate (with my mum constantly telling me to be careful about spilling fat on my skirt) watched a film (Up – we cried again).  I had a few chats with my mum though out the night, one thing that she said a few time is that she was surprised how natural it felt speaking to me as Stacy.

When we went to bed, Mrs Stace and mum had gone up leaving dad and me taking in the kitchen whilst making drinks, he said again about me looking like his sister from when she was younger and told me that he was proud of me for getting changed – and said that it must have taken some guts to do.

Well that’s me up to date now, everyone else is still in bed, and I’m have to finish off reinstalling the other laptop (that’s been running whilst I wrote this).



  1. All we have to fear is fear it's self!

    How can the real us not be better than the false part we play under the illusion that that is the only way we can survive.

    So glad it went well, the waiting must have been hell.

    Caroline xxx

  2. Blimey, that sounds like a result! I know I wouldn't have had the courage.

    I hope with all that cryng that your makeup didn't run.

    Is Mrs. Stace OK after that?

  3. :)

    So, so pleased to read a good news story.

  4. Well, that sounds like a pretty good reaction to me! Congratulations Stace! You have wonderful parents, who's love for you is truly unconditional! That in and of itself, makes you luckier than most, TS or otherwise.

    Now about that eye stabbing..........practice makes perfect Ms Stace!

    Melissa XX

  5. Oh Stace, that's wonderful! Even though your folks still have a way to go in understanding this (and they no one is to blame), it sounds like that are doing so well. And that can only be good for you and Mrs. Stace.

    Yes, I used to poke myself all the time with the mascara wand, but now almost never. One secret -- take your time. Of course, not being nervous helps too. :)

    Congratulations, chica!

  6. Well done Girl!
    I was milling ear to ear for you when I read that.
    Your parents have taken a big step now and they are doing fantastically well.
    Thats a testament to them and to you for the way you have all gone about this as well as for your love for each other.
    It will get easier and feel more normal each time you see them now.

  7. Thanks all :) It was really not the reaction I was expecting. I knew that they would be OK in the end, but the fact that they were more than OK immediately was just wonderful.

    The mascara incidents were caused by shaking hands... My hands shake anyway, at the best of times - but with the stress it was worse than normal.

    Mrs Stace... She was stuck in two places. On one side she didn't want my parents to run a mile when they saw me, but on the other I don't think that she wanted them to be quite so vocal about how good they thought I looked (and how natural I was) as Stace. I can see her point - I guess we will have to talk that through when my parents go home tomorrow.


  8. Wonderful Stace!
    Another milestone!

  9. Wow. That's both wonderful and terrifying news. I think you all handled it brilliantly. (())

    As to Up, I think that's is a very moving film. There was more than one adult carefully wiping their eyes when I saw it. :-)

  10. Oh my goodness girl! This is so amazing!!! I cried. I couldn't help it. So happy for you =) *hugs*

  11. Thanks all. It's all still sinking in for me about how well it went (and I think that I am only just starting to get over the adrenaline rush that went with it - Sunday and Monday I was absoluitely shattered!)


  12. Nice one, Stace....

    Nice one.


  13. Honestly, what wonderful responses. Very happy for you all. You come from good people, yes?

  14. Again, thanks both.

    My folks are amazing Petra - they always supported me when my teachers said I should give up dreams of uni and a professional career, and are still supporting me now :)