Sunday, 24 October 2010

Deep Cleaning

Well that was a busy week...  We are getting ready for my parents visit (they arrive this week) so that means a deep clean of the house from the attic down to the living room.  The garden is currently full of old furniture and belongings, waiting to be taken to the tip once we can get a trailer organised (there is too much to throw into the back of the car – even a Volvo estate :p).

I decided to use this as an excuse to really empty the attic.  Anything that has not been used since we moved into the house 5 ½ years ago, or anything that has been superseded by newer gadgets has gone.  I found the carpet again (I’d not seen that for a while) and the space looks huge now (at half emptied) whereas before it looked tiny and you had to climb over everything to get to anything.  It got quite painful at times.  I am still suffering from the after effects thought.  The amount of dust in an attic is amazing and even after a night’s sleep I’m still sneezing and blowing my nose every few seconds.

The cat hates me as well.  The attic is his place – he hides there when he wants to get away from it all, and sleeps there.  Cats hate change, and it’s totally different now.  I got some nasty looks from him yesterday!

I’ve also found a lot of tools that I thought I’d lost.  I have to inventorize what I have left now, and figure out what I’ve lost over the last couple of years and what I need to buy again...

I had another appointment with the therapists this week.  I actually managed to almost remember everything this week – just forgot my ear rings, no big deal there.  He had a slot free at 6 this week so I didn’t have to miss any time from work.  However, the amount of stress that it delivers just isn’t worth it – instead of a couple of spots where you slow down I stopped completely on the motorway and took twice as long as normal to get there.  I’d given myself 30 minutes extra and was still 5 minutes late...  I’ve gone back to 5 o’clock appointments now – sure I have to make up another hour at work but at least I am stress free for the start of the appointment.

It was a good trip though, and I have really started to build my confidence.  Just as I was about to leave my friends flat, where I get changed, he had a knock on the door.  KPN (telephone company) bringing the tech required to get his fibre connection working.  My first thought was to panic, but after a couple of seconds I calmed down, picked up my bags and walked to the car.  It was fine, and I am certainly getting more confident being around people.

And it was a great appointment this week.  I’m not going to go into too much detail here, but it was a very uplifting and reassuring session.  In short according to my therapist I have to stop being quite so nice (apparently I’m too English – go figure), I have to start using more extreme language (not swearing, but stop with using ‘Interesting’, ‘fun’ and ‘a bit difficult’ when I mean terrible, awful, wonderful, fantastic etc).  The other thing that he has said is that I must start to take credit for things.  I call myself lucky, not for having GD, but for having the life I have.   He has told me that I should stop saying lucky (it plays a part, but is not the be all and end all) and start looking at what I have done to get here throughout my life.

OK another days cleaning, and then count the hours till my parent s touch down at Schiphol!  I can’t wait to see them again, talking on the phone just isn’t the same...


  1. Your therapist is only trying to make a confident, assertive woman out of you. Sometimes in an effort to be polite, we can be downright obsequious. That's not good for self confidence.

    I'm not surprised your cat has been giving you dirty looks. He was miffed! How dare you rearrange his bedroom, with out his permission!

    Good luck with your mom and dad's visit! I can't wait to hear your report!

    Melissa XX

  2. If it's too much for the Volvo, do you need to book a truck... or maybe a TARDIS to ship it out? :-) The place must look fab though with all that space. The cat'll get over it, narky so-and-so. :-D

    I'm afraid I did chuckle when you said 'too English'. Is it a case of too much classic Brit understatement? Funny that we do it so much here. Maybe it doesn't travel well.

  3. Its so nice to see your confidence growing.
    I am sure things will go just fine with your parents.

  4. Melissa: Assertive? I must admit that at the moment I don't think anyone would accuse me of that :)

    I get comments in my yearly reviews that when I ask "is this too angry" when compiling emails that he normally thinks "that's angry?" and tells me that I am still being too polite...

    The cat has still not forgiven me - and runs off when I come up the stairs :(

    Lynn: In my defense it's a little Volvo (it's only the V50)... Mind you there is half an attic currently getting soaked in the garden. Maybe a TARDIS would be a good idea - I don't suppose you could find me one could you?

    And yes, you hit the nail on the head with 'Too English'... My therapist can get confused when say that something "wasn't the best" or was "quite good" :) Oddly enough it's also comment that comes back on my review year in year out from my boss, he struggles to cope most of the time - although 'Interesting...' is catching on.

    Lisa: Thanks, it's making it nicer to go out as well. I'm starting to forget that I have to walk with confidence, and just walk naturally.

    I can't wait to see my parents again... I'm worried about their initial reaction, but I beleive them when they say they'll be there no matter what...