Sunday, 17 October 2010

First support meeting

Well, back from the first meeting.  It was a lot to take in, and to be honest I’m still processing it through my head.  But on the whole it was positive – and I’ll be going back next month.

I was late leaving, forgot to get cash for drinks during the afternoon, and struggled with my hair.  Mrs Stace came with me to the local shops to get me some money and then she walked home (it was close to home, and good weather I hasten to add!) – I’m not quite ready to walk into a shopping centre and get cash just yet.

Then I had to go 10KM out of my way due to the Amsterdam Marathon that was taking place today, and drive down lots of horrible small streets crawling with tourists and cyclists...  I was in need of a drink when I got there, and I couldn’t have anything as I had to drive back afterwards!

But there were a few questions (which I was asked by more than one person at various points of the afternoon) that I am taking as very positive.  I think.  Maybe I’m reading too much into it.  I don’t know – as I say I’m still processing.

The questions:
  • When did you have your operation?
  • How long have you been on hormones?

The fact that I still haven’t decided *if* I’m going to transition I’m taking this as very positive.  Especially as I don’t wear a wig or forms...

Quite happy.


  1. I would take those as very positive comments, indeed. They seem a little presumptive, if indeed they were asked as you've written them, but on the whole, positive.

    Shame it's only once a month. The group I've been going to sporadically during the last 2 years meets weekly, and I think the frequency has helped accelerate my progress (I am transitioning).

    Getting out and about in girl-mode is definitely a gradual process, until you get to the point where you can't endure going out any other way.

    You'll decide what's right for you, but whatever happens, you're taking the necessary steps.


  2. Well done, I hope they are as supportive as mine has been.

    You choose your wardrobe with care, you don't wear a wig and you have "the walk". I'm not surprised you had those comments.

  3. I'm sure that you looked great Stace, but I wouldn't put too much stock in those questions. They sounded a bit probative to me, like they were trying to feel you out, and determine what your status is.

    I remember my first meeting with some of the girls in my support group. It was at a bar, and one of the first questions I was asked was, "Are you just starting your transition?". I was rather shocked by the question, and told her I wasn't doing anything. I said this was my first time out in 25 years.

    Melissa XX

  4. P.S.

    I didn't mean for it to sound like they weren't positive comments. They certainly were.

    Melissa XX

  5. Dana: It's once a month, but at this time that's fine. I have a busy month coming up, aso it gives me time to breath before the next meeting.

    As for the questions... I think that it is a difference between the cultures. The Dutch are far more direct than English (and as far as I know Americans), it can be off putting until you get to know it.

    Jenny: Kind of... It was a little dis-organised as someone who was going to come in a speak cancelled at the last minute. But those I spoke to were very nice.

    And thankyou very much :) Though I have no idea how I come across with my hair :)

    Melissa: As I said I'm still processing. To be fair the questions did work backwards down the list - could well have been probing. But there was some shock as well when I said just starting.


    Melissa PS: :) Thanks

  6. Quite happy----that sounds quite good!

  7. :) Yes quite happy.

    What can I say I may have left the UK 11 years ago, but I still have my Englishness when it comes to understating everything...