There would have been another, except I told my boss I could only take if he told which of the others I could drop. He decided that they were more important and passed the project to someone else, I'm pleased to say!
Home has also been hectic, but only because of the evil beasties that we are still fighting!
A few weeks before we left we noticed a lot of these creatures:
At about 2mm big they are not scary - just bloody annoying! When we called the council about how to get rid of them we were told that you can't really. What you have to do is get rid of their food source - and that is always a leak in the sewer. That was fixed before we went away, but now that their food source is gone they are migrating into the house and we spend a lot of time hovering the evil blighters from all the walls and surfaces.
On Tuesday I had to miss running due to working overtime and getting home and having that many crawling in the hall way that I had to do something about it - it couldn't wait until after my run. And, by the time I was done it was too late to run. Grrr...
But... The title!
When I had 5 minutes to myself last night it suddenly hit me (as it does occasionally) that I am actually living my life now.
I still find it a little surreal to think that I am doing this. I still have it in my head that other people do this, not me. There is no way I could cope with the stress of telling everyone. Of venturing outside for the first time. Of coming to work as Stacy and living with the consequences.
And yet I did, and yet I am.
Like I said, occasionally this hits me. This is not a documentary where I am thinking "I wish I could do that", this is me doing it.
:)
A couple or so years ago we had an epidemic of mites-like bugs. We traced it to sugar, flour, etc that was direct from the store, but not put into plastic containers! Basically anything that wasn't salt and was in a paper wrapper; it was especially egregious if it had been opened.
ReplyDeleteSo we tossed out a few items - fortunately not that much stuff comes in paper wrappers anymore! - bought some plastic containers for the flour and other baking supplies and the problem disappeared astonishingly quickly! Wiping up, vacuuming surfaces and spraying them helped.
The other thing you could try is something I do for fleas (of which we're prone because we're in the woods with a lot of cats...) I make a decent sized container of salt and baking soda (bicarbonate of soda), with boric acid if the problem is *really* bad. Thoroughly mix it up and then sprinkle it around where the bugs are. Give it a few hours and then vacuum it up - and (this is important) throw away the vacuum's bag! (I put it into a garbage bag that I tie up; the little buggers can be persistent.)
Try not to do this on a humid day; the mix attracts water from the air and, well, it takes ages to clean up. (I'm having to deal with that because we had a big infestation in one room, and I had to deal with it during a period of very high humidity.)
You could also try some of the newer chemical sprays; I tried some, but it didn't solve our problems like natural solutions did!
Good luck!
The guy at the council told us to do nothing - they will die off now the food source has been removed. It's just a waiting game, shame as I am not a waiting person :)
DeleteStace
Phew! For a minute this was going to be post about Silence of the Lambs. :-)
ReplyDeleteYay on the living front. I guess it must seem scary if you look at where you are now, and think how far you've come. Maybe it helps, things being in small, but ever more confident steps?
Good luck with the moths. BTW, have you thought about putting a giant moon outside the house (careful of tides in the bath, mind) and drawing them out? :-) Just a thought.
Ah, Chianti!
DeleteOdd thing is, they are not moths- just very hairy flies! Although the Dutch name for them does translate to Moth Flies :)
I think taking things at the speed I did was perfect for me. And forcing myself over some of the bigger steps (like travelling to therapy as Stace rather than getting changed there) were needed, even if they made me a wreck at the time :)
Stace
Thankfully we only get pestered with red spider mites which here are called berry bugs, almost impossible to see the spiders so the mites must be minute but their itchy bites can as they are at the moment driving me crazy.
ReplyDelete"Doing this"still surprises me occasionally, I was long ago told that no help would be available in my lifetime but we have reached a point where we have the help and it works...
We can only keep posting to show that the choice is living and breathing freely as the person you should be or a life of self loathing and depression trying to play a role for others and living free wins out given half a chance.
We have started to get big fact black hairy spiders back in the house. This is a good sign, as it means things are drying out - and they will start to eat the remaining flies in the crawl space, getting rid of even more!
DeleteOf course this does mean that we will have more, and bigger spiders as a result. As as I need to spend an hour or so with my arms wrapped around my legs de-stressing when I get one out of the house I am not looking forward to the coming time! :)
"We can only keep posting to show that the choice is living and breathing freely as the person you should be or a life of self loathing and depression trying to play a role for others and living free wins out given half a chance."
I think that is one of the reasons why I posted this. It was really just such a WOW! moment that I had to do it :)
Stace
Big fat hairy spiders not fact :)
DeleteNot surreal .... Just life.
ReplyDeleteIts great that you are living this life and are happy
I guess it shows I did the right thing :)
DeleteStace
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHoi Stace!
ReplyDeleteOops! Accidentally deleted my last post! :#)
We now return to my regularly scheduled comment:
Yea! This post makes me feel so good! OK, not the bug part lol - the part about actually living as yourself!
I'm not full-time yet, but I felt something similar during my vacation week at the Newport Folk Festival. At one point on Saturday it suddenly occurred to me that I was doing something I had set as a goal nearly a year and a half before. And it felt completely normal. All I can say is yea for normal! :D
Hugs,
Cass
If you can delete your comment I can delete my reply! ;p
DeleteSince being full time I don't really think about my gender issues too often (it comes back, but not as it used to). It's just life now, with all the good, bad, meh and woohoo that goes with it.
As it should be :)
Stace
Normal is good.
ReplyDeleteHope you get the infestation sorted soon
Just living without thinking about it is good! :) (Lot's of smiley's today!
DeleteIf the last few days are anything to go by we reached a peak of 100s of flies coming up by the time we got home from work and they are starting to drop off again.
Hopefully!
Stace