Uitgesteld

Let's start with a positive. I'm not in a great deal of pain any more - woot! Just slightly nervous about how it will go next time!

Now, for those of you who have not yet been to Google Translate (or know Dutch) the title means delayed. As in today I decided to delay something important.

My op.

You see I was called yesterday by the hospital about how the hair removal was going and did I know when I could be ready to go in.  OMG! Should be about three weeks, but I need to check with the clinic.

Called the clinic who said that based on Tuesdays visit it would be between 3 and 9 weeks. So I started to look at things from a planning point of view and it's just not going to happen!

Best scenario I would be lying in bed with quite a wound that I am trying to keep clean whilst builders rip the roof off of the house to fit a dormer window. Or builders would be inside building walls. Either way, not the most hygienic environments with the dust and stuff...

Worst case scenario Mrs Stace would need too much help day to day and we would be getting ready for Kleintje to make an appearance.

Now... I can delay the operation without a problem (more or less). Mrs Stace has a bit more difficulty in not getting any more pregnant for a month or two.

Damn... March or April next year it is!

On the bright side (yes there are a few!)

1. This was my choice.  Being a control freak that is very important to me! :)
2. This is being done for such a right reason - getting the house ready for a baby, and supporting Mrs Stace during the last few weeks is far more important!
3. As my therapist pointed out to me last week. Don't see it as a major op with a painful recovery. Once you are a couple of weeks into recovery I've been told I should be able to do some things. Just not lifting from the ground! That means my recovery will be spent with Kleintje and getting to know him or her in a way that woud not otherwise have been possible!

So.  Jammer. (More Dutch). But not as jammer as making this decision would have been a while ago!

I don't do this often but...

OMG, I'm in pain...

I've just had electrolysis again and this time it hurts like hell.
I'm lying on the sofa about to go to bed before 9pm just because it's getting to me...

I've even written this on my phone as I can't sit at the computer.

Sorry, felling sorry for myself a little...

Ow :(

Busy weekend!

After a week of 'meh' as far as things to say - I've been busy but do you really want to hear about the fun of testing out new VDI environments, and keeping people on track for testing and using an environment that no one wants, and is going to make our life more difficult. Or my attempts at making our Scrum process better? Or working with other insurance companies to make our insurance request process that much nicer for customers?

No, I didn't think so! And so yesterdays post was not an easy one to write :)

But the last two days have been non-stop!

A trip to Ikea to buy some shoe drawers for the wall, making space for the stroller when it gets here. We found what we wanted, but the other things we were looking for were not really what we wanted. So of course we left with a trolley full of stuff (how does Ikea do it?) and enjoyed a Swedish meatball lunch - now with no horse!

After that we needed to go to a shop and check out the nursery furniture, then go to a second and check that one out (both of which are second or third visits...), pick one and order it.

Hahahahaha

The first bit went fine - saw the first bit of furniture and we were happy, the guy in the shop spoke to us about how to order, and what terms and conditions they have, and that was all fine too.  In fact it was very good.

And then, seeing as we were there, we started to look at strollers again. We had limited it to two - one with amazing off road experience, and one with a seat that faces both ways - so when Kleintje (see, I used the temporary name!) is small he or she can look at us when in the stroller and when older he or she can look forward.

After uming and arhing we decided that the backwards seat was going to be used more than the off road use and we had a decision!

Until we walked out of the shop, and for completeness decided to try the Bugaboo. Now... I'm against these mainly because I have heard of too many people who buy them because Gwyneth or Kate use them. Those comments always put me off!

But, we tried and it wasn't bad. The steering was really light - good for turns, bad for trying to walk in a straight line. It folded easily and was not heavy.

Back to two then...

Onto the second shop to look at their furniture. We love the set they have. It's solid oak and made in the same style, and by the same company, as the oak furniture in our living room.

The problem is that it has the same drawback. It has to be sanded smooth - and do you want to risk missing a bit and then putting the baby in the cot? The other drawback is that with it being unfinished you have to constantly wax it in order to stop it staining (even the demo room had stains where someone had split some water). In the living room that isn't a problem - you just wipe and then re-wax. I don't really want the nursery full of was fumes though...

OK - that made the decision for us. We preferred the oak, but went for the other melamine one for usability.  (Still have to order it though!)

OK - pick up a steam cleaner for the garden on the way home and call it a night!

This morning started with a run, wet and a little windy, but still warm and humid so no worse for it, and then start with the chores!

Sweep, weed, tidy and then look at how big the garden looks when all the furniture is at one end the edges of the path are visible!

That took me 90 minutes and filled out compost bin! Then plug in the jet washer.  Damn! When we picked it up we forgot to being the adapter for the taps. The person we borrowed it from has clip on and off taps and we needed the screw on type! 

Oh well - at least the garden looks 10 times better than it did this morning!

Lunch and then start with the shoe cupboards! Lined them up, water-levelled them and put quite few of our shoes in them. Moved the picture we had on the wall 30cm higher so we can still fit it and then moved the old shoe rack around making the space we need for the stroller. And I saw that there were 3 cables there that just weren't needed any more, and one that could be routed far better if the others were removed.

So, unplug the speaker cable that needed re-routing and carefully remove the old telephone wire that went to the ADSL cable that we no longer need (these days it's either a cable model (150/15Mbps) or fibre (>100/100Mpbs) that we will use - and that all has to go into the meter cupboard. Going back to a 6/0.7Mbps ADSL connection is just not going to happen so the cable can go!

Got rid of it all, re-fitted the speaker and then looked at the result.  A really neat hallway, space for a stroller (OK, then it won't be so neat ;p), and looking like a grown ups house for almost the first time.

I'm typing this with a pint of cider, and then I'm going to take the tools back to the attic, take a long, hot shower to unwind and start cooking the salmon and cod creamy strew we are going to eat this evening.

Yum!

See, nothing all week and then BOOM! A weekend full :) And best of all - I feel great for it (scratches, cuts and blisters aside!)

(PS Sorry for boring you with baby stuff! I imagine it's going to take a priority in life for a while here!)

Bad Wine

I felt so bad last night. Lying on the sofa watching Midsomer Murders with a glass of wine after a long week of work was fine, I had a glass of very nice wine - but something was amiss. I don't know what it was, but there was an edge to the wine.

Then later that evening when I got up to go to bed I had such severe indigestion that I could barely lie down. It only lasted 1/2 hour - but I don't think I will be finishing the bottle!

So what else is new after the news from last week?  Well, actually not that much..

We've started the process of adoption so that I can be the legal parent of our child.

We have taken all of the documents to the lawyer for the adoption.  Copies of everything that is needed, and a copy of everything that might be needed (better to much than not enough...) have been made and now it is up to her to get everything organised.

We have piked the easiest route, just trying for a straight adoption. I have enough stress in life without trying to make this a test case. The only thing we can do now is wait!

And we are trying to ensure that we are ready for when it gets here.

We are busy trying to work out what building work we want on the house, and busy trying to figure out what bills we are going to have in the coming months and budgeting for them.

Hopefully we are going to be able to afford a couple of dormer windows on the house and make some new rooms in the attic, and we are busy trying to figure out how to arrange everything :) If our calculations are correct we are going to be able to double the storage that we have for books as well...

And of course, we are busy trying to figure out how to decorate the nursery - are we going to go for a mural or just keep it solid colours... And which furniture we are going to buy (useful to know which colours ;p).

Oh, and maybe paint the kitchen so that Becca can see the photos of when it's done...

And of course... And we want to start this all ASAP so that we know it's done!

Big News

OK, I've been busy, and cagey recently - but today I let everyone in the office know what is going on.  As such I can now pass it along here...

So what was I doing last weekend that meant I could not write the post I wanted, or indeed work out or do anything except what we did.

And it was a lot of fun as well, actually I was in 7th heaven! :)

And no, it is not to do with my operation. There is still no word on that (boo), but this is just beyond that in terms of importance to me right now.

I'm going to be a mum. And I cannot tell you how much I smile every time I see that written down or tell someone.

There are some interesting bits that go with becoming a parent and being transsexual in Holland. And they are beyond not good. There was a law written in 1985 basically banning transsexuals from becoming parents. Ergo, I have to adopt my own child to become it's legal parent (and there will be no mention of the biological link on the birth certificate, I will be down as co-mother).

Sucks, but it's not like the child will not know where it came from. I do not want any legal test case here, I know the situation sucks, but I have more important things on my mind. I want to be the legal parent, full stop.

But..  I can't stop smiling! This is a pain, and it's not going to go away before February next year - so there is no point worrying more than I need to!

No, what we are worrying about at the moment is making sure that the house is ready for it's new occupant. Making sure it has a room, making sure it has safe transport and making sure that it has more cuddly toys than it can ever, ever, ever play with :)

Which brings up back to last Saturday. Test driving 'kinderwagens' (I have no idea what it is in English - it's not a push chair and it's not a pram - but it will do both...) and trying to figure out what disadvantages we want to put up with (we have three, and if you put them together you get the perfect one! :p).

And looking for nursery furniture for the new room.

And clothes for the every lovely Mrs Stace.

And buying cuddly turtles.. :)

Serious, it's huge!

And it's the first of many turtles that will make their way here :) I fell in love (honestly it's not for me) and had to get it. I was a bit unhappy when the sales assistant offered to put it behind the counter whilst we kept on looking!

So... yes... that's my big news for now!

If he walked in now...

A really quick posts today :)

A colleague came to me to the other when I was walking down the corridor and came came out with this:

Stace, I just saw you walking down the corridor then and though to myself, "How weird would it be if <he> walked into the office?" Because even though I've only known you for 18 months [we've worked together now a little more than 7 years], this is really you isn't - it's just so obvious that you were not him! I hope you don't take this badly...

I told him I definitely would not take that kind of statement badly :)

OMG - I am actually doing this!

This week has been a stressed out, pandemonium filled, never ending to-do list nightmare as I try to catch up at work and find that an extra few projects have found their way to my desk over the last three weeks.

There would have been another, except I told my boss I could only take if he told which of the others I could drop. He decided that they were more important and passed the project to someone else, I'm pleased to say!

Home has also been hectic, but only because of the evil beasties that we are still fighting!

A few weeks before we left we noticed a lot of these creatures:

At about 2mm big they are not scary - just bloody annoying! When we called the council about how to get rid of them we were told that you can't really. What you have to do is get rid of their food source - and that is always a leak in the sewer. That was fixed before we went away, but now that their food source is gone they are migrating into the house and we spend a lot of time hovering the evil blighters from all the walls and surfaces.

On Tuesday I had to miss running due to working overtime and getting home and having that many crawling in the hall way that I had to do something about it - it couldn't wait until after my run. And, by the time I was done it was too late to run.  Grrr...

But... The title!

When I had 5 minutes to myself last night it suddenly hit me (as it does occasionally) that I am actually living my life now.

I still find it a little surreal to think that I am doing this. I still have it in my head that other people do this, not me. There is no way I could cope with the stress of telling everyone. Of venturing outside for the first time. Of coming to work as Stacy and living with the consequences.

And yet I did, and yet I am.

Like I said, occasionally this hits me. This is not a documentary where I am thinking "I wish I could do that", this is me doing it.

:)

This should have had a title when I wrote it :)

Right, a day off! The first of the since getting back to Holland we have no plans for the day J

So, this time three weeks ago we had woken up in an overly warm hotel after being kept awake for some of the night by guests of a wedding in the hotel the day before. After a good breakfast we were on our way up to Scotland, to a little place called Dunkeld just north of Perth.

With wonderful weather, and simply stunning scenery, we took a walk around the village before the going back to the hotel for food. The river Tay (I think) was looking amazing in the evening sunshine and I manager to get a few nice shots whilst we were there J

Back to the hotel for food, which was amazing, and then time for bed. The hotel was a building a couple of hundred years old and, as opposed to all of the others that we stayed in, a private hotel ran by people who really wanted to run a hotel. The service was amazing, the food wonderful and they could not do enough to help us.

Unfortunately there was no air conditioning, and yes even Scotland it was just too uncomfortably warm to sleep well without that luxury! But, we did the best that we could, and got some sleep during the night.

After an invigorating shower (much better than in the first hotel!) we set off for the last run of 2 hours to get to my parent’s house. Not before a stop in Avimore for a coffee though - and not a bad coffee either J

And so we spent 9 days with my parents doing not much, there were a couple of day trips out seeing the local sights (I even went into the sea) and dolphin spotting (twice – the first time there was no one there to play!). There was the obligatory trip to Waterstones in Inverness (we’re now up to 550 books and trying to figure out where the hell we are going to keep them!)

And… For the first time in a long time I celebrated my birthday with my parents J But I’ll come to that later, right now it’s time to relax again!

Finally, for today, here are the shots from Dunkeld J

Delaying tactic...

I was hoping to write a post this afternoon about the vacation we just had, and the good news that went with it.

But... So far this week we have been in appointment after appointment and out heads are spinning a little, and this morning I got some annoying news (as far as I can see so far not bad, just annoying and a little costly!)

So I'm gong to hold off writing for a while and try to chill (something that has not been possible up until now!)

Sigh...

Stace