Sunday, 23 June 2013

We have our own TARDIS

Yes, I am a Dr Who fan :) David Tennant is my favorite, though Matt Smith grew on me, and the best companion by far was Catherine Tate (thought I was skeptical when I first heard that she was going to take over...) And, yes, I am busy trying to see who I would like to see as the next Doctor. I love one suggestion that I saw on-line - Sue Perkins, I just think that she is so quirky and witty that she could easily slip into the role.  My own choice at the moment would be Shawn Evans, who recently played the title in Endeavour, the series about Morse's early years as a Detective Constable. OK, possibly too close to David Tennant or Matt Smith in terms of quirkiness, but I think with the social awkwardness that he can portray it would be a good change from the over the top in your face doctors of recent years.

OK, geekiness behind me, why the title?

We'll get to it :)

The last week has been, err, painful!

Work has been going, I have managed to get our new server working to the point where I hope the real migration that will take place next week should go without a problem.  Phew.  The pre-work has taken a lot of time, and the migration will take most of my next weekend.

I had a sort of pre-review with my boss during my one to one this week. Something happened that made me bring it up (he was apologetic that I had to be the one to bring it to the table, as he meant to give me some information before hand). Nothing bad, I just noticed that my salary was different so I had to ask whether or not my rise was due. I can't complain as I have had the same with the people in my team over the last year.  Oops :)

But, everything is good. The improvement point is my forgetfulness, there is a pattern of the less important things on my plate being forgotten until he mentions it again, and it's something he would like me to work on in the next year.  Me too, so I am not going to complain there. There may be a reason for it - but I need to ensure that if I am too full that I tell him to remove things.  If they can be removed then I have to do the remaining well, and if they can't then I am not going to take responsibility for it if I have already said it's too much. Something I can work with I think.

Outside of work I am starting to accept the situation with the operation. It is what it is, and nothing I can do will change that. I'm still shattered, and struggling with energy, but hopefully I'll get over that soon! I'm still really annoyed at the way everything was communicated, but that shouldn't have an impact on my view of the op itself.

And...  I found a folder on the VUMC website that goes into detail about the operation. Before you go to hospital, arriving at the hospital, the day of the operation (and lots of details about it), and recovery split into days (day after the operation, days 2 and 3, day 4 and day 5 - hopefully the day you are discharged).

And then a pile of information about what to do at home.

I've read it about 4 times now, and I am going to read it more times still. The first time I scanned it and it terrified me (the pictures, whilst drawings rather than photos, are still OMG!), the second time I read it quickly. Each time I am reading it slower and taking in more information. And whilst the complications are still scary, it is actually calming me down.

And so...  I'm actually starting to get excited about the result, rather than terrified of the op itself. I'm still not feeling particularly spiritual about it (something I asked my therapist about, as most other people who's experiences I have read seem to have a really spiritual vibe to them, and even my mum talks about it being a rebirth), but then I am not that spiritual a person, and maybe that makes the difference. It's something I need to be complete, from a mental point of view as well as a practical point of view.  It is a *HUGE* thing, but I just can't see it as a rebirth. It's a major operation that I need to continue my life.

And I'm continuing the preparation! This week electrolysis for the first time.  And due to a mix up at the place the anesthetic cream had worn off before they began.  OW!!!! That was without a doubt the singularly most painful thing I have done! Depending on where she was working it felt like either I was being kicked in the nuts when the current went on, or that someone was holding a match to me. And the laser that followed had me shaking in pain by the end.

She told me that if it all got too much that we would stop for the day, but you can't do that can you?  It has to be done, and if it hurts then it hurts. It will still hurt in the future so why stop? But, wow, was I glad when she said, "OK, last line now."  Ow.  I'm glad I had already gone running for the day, as it was not going to happen afterwards!

I am so glad I never had to have electrolysis on my face! (OK, I could do with it a little now, but plucking every two or three days for 2 minutes or less seems like a less painful option!)

And the weekend?  Well...  Yesterday I started a new routine on the Xbox, supposedly less extreme that my normal one, but I burnt the same amount of energy doing it! It was however a lot more enjoyable and had more legwork than general cardio so I am going to keep to it.  It also works out the muscles that you need in good condition for the op, and for afterwards so bonus :)

And then the TARDIS...

I cleaned the small cupboard under the stairs yesterday.  We had bought some new drawer units to replace one of the shelves to try and organise everything. I thought that it's a meter * 2 meters (at most) and as you can only stand up in the first meter how hard can it be?

And there it is.  1 * 2 meter cupboard, and what came over covered the floor of a 5 * 6 meter room.  HOW????  5 hours later the last of the things went back, and we have enough stuff that is not going back to half fill the V70 next week to take it to the tip!

And I ache like hell today! Sneezing from the dust, aching from the new exercise, and the strange positions that you need to empty the cupboard, and to remove the lower shelf being replaced with the drawers and still needing to run this afternoon as it was just not going to happen this morning!

What did happen this morning was I made another focaccia, the first time in a while, and so we are going to really enjoy lunch!

Speaking of which it's nearly ready, so I had better get going!


UPDATE! I just reread this and realised that it could come across wrong :) I am not saying that feeling spiritual about the operation is wrong.  I was just saying that I don't feel that way. And actually I was concerned by not feeling that way enough to actually bring it up with my therapist on Friday (who said not to worry about it).




  1. I had for so long accepted that i was probably never going to get all the way through the system to the final operation and persuaded myself that life would be tolerable in that state.

    The difference in how I felt after the operation was beyond my expectation, like a final heavy load removed and being able to move through the world unencumbered and free.

    Sorry that you are being messed about but it will happen soon enough and the result is priceless...

    1. To be honest, it's not that I don't expect to get through the system. I just told them who I was and how I have always felt and the rest is history. It's been the dangling of an imminent operation for the last 4 months or so, which has now been pulled away that has exhausted me. I just want to get it over and done with.

      I am not underestimating the operation (I hope), and really, really do appreciate just how immense it is going to be. I just don't feel spiritual about it. And that bothered me enough to bring it up with my therapist; who said not to worry :)

      Hopefully it will be over sooner rather than later, and I can get back on with life!


  2. Hi Stace!

    It sounds as if you are handling their ineptness as well as you can. At a certain point all you can do is simply go with the flow.

    Please ignore the advice in my private message about options for electrolysis pain management. As you no doubt realized, we were talking about two *very* different places! lol I cannot imagine the pain if your Lidocaine wore off; you are a trouper, hon! Kudos to you for gritting it out.

    I must admit I laughed out laughed when I read your description of how it felt, though. I suspect that I probably speak for all of your followers: "OMG... our sweet little Stace has a potty mouth!" ;-p

    Kelli persuaded me to check out Doctor Who several months ago. I'm only halfway through the first season, with Christopher Eccleston (whom I knew from Cracker, speaking of amazing TV shows). It is addictive; I just wish I had more time to get caught up!

    Have a wonderful week, hon, and be sure to get your rest!


    1. I'm trying to do what I can, it's not always great but (as I seem to be saying too often) getting there slowly!

      Yeah, I forgot the paracetamol this time as well, something I normally take when I leave home, so it was a double wammy - but still, like I said, it has to be done so stopping was really not an option.

      As for the potty mouth... I can swear with the best of them if I need to :) When working on the spitfire, push or motorbikes and they are fighting me (or indeed something in the house, or when a program won't compile or run as I want it to) and I am in pain I can let rip :) I just try not to do it in company ;p

      I love Doctor Who, the last series wasn't great - but it was still watchable. But there have been some truly amazing episodes in the past. 'Don't Blink', 'The Impossible Astronaut' and 'Day of the Moon' have to be amongst the best there have been. Scary, but not gory monsters and just absolute thrillers. Wonderful :)