Tuesday 14 September 2010

Panic

Isn’t it strange how the simplest of jobs can trigger a sudden panic, followed by a deep low?  That’s how I spent the latter part of my weekend.  It started when we saw the new Ikea catalogue and decided to bite the bullet and replace our mattress.  It’s been on the cards for a while now – the old one was brought in our previous house that had damp issues and it showed on the mattress, but we never got around to buying the replacement.

Flicking through the catalogue we found one that was just what we were looking for (at least the description said that it was), and went to Ikea late on Saturday in the hope that it would be quieter.  No chance, when we got there the car park was still completely full.

A bit of browsing whilst looking for the beds, looking for a sofa bed to replace the double in the spare room – as it’s only used a couple of times a year it seems stupid to have 3/4 of the room taken up with it – and other bits and bobs.  We found a great sofa bed – sprung base, looked nice when not a bed, and was comfortable in both guises.  It was easy to unfold and fold back up again and there was a little storage space built in as well.

This is the point where the ‘bad’ thoughts started.  If the worst happens and I end up losing Mrs Stace that’s what I am going to have to buy for the living room of a flat (seeing as a one bed place is likely to be my budget).  And when looking at the chairs for the dining room I started to glance around at the cheap tables that were there to the same effect.

When we finally managed to find the mattress the issue of ‘should we buy it when we don’t know the future?’ came up.  I said buy it anyway, even if that does happen the mattress is going to be needed.  And then spent time looking at the cheap beds (just in case I need one).

And so it goes.  We both made light of it at the time, but since then it’s just been weighing heavier and heavier on my mind – to the point where I have ended up sitting on the sofa rocking backwards and forwards in tears.  Stupid I know – neither of us knows what is going to happen so there is no point dwelling on it, but it just hit me this weekend.

I suppose looking at the bright side I managed to start exercising again this weekend – a 23km bike ride on Saturday (too long, my knees were in agony by the half-way point) and a 3km run on Sunday (should have been 6 but my knees were reminding me of Saturday so I decided to be sensible for a change).  It felt good to be running again, and the endorphins were certainly released.

And the mattress is extremely comfortable.  It’s memory foam so it starts off as a little soft when you first lie down, but then gives you great support once you are lying down on it.  Flat packed too – it comes vacuum packed, and rolled so a 160 * 200 mattress even fits in a V50.

Update: I wrote this on the way to work on Monday.  Since then things have gone downhill a little, I ended up yelling at my boss over a trifling incident (he has told me I was correct and didn’t come across as that shouty, but I know I should have handled it better) and had to leave the office before breaking down again.  Didn’t take long for the vacation feeling to disappear did it…  I’ve levelled out – it’s not getting any worse – but neither is it getting better yet…

6 comments:

  1. Bummer :-( Sorry to hear that things haven't gone well. With a little luck, maybe life will improve a little. <<>>

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  2. It's so sad to think that in order to be who you are, you may have to separate from the one person you love so much. I hope that doesn't happen to you.

    The high spirit I gained during a vacation, was always short lived when I returned to the hell hole that I worked in. Usually by the 2nd or 3rd day back, the remarks of some insensitive clod, or the inherent absurdities of the daily grind would knock me off of my cloud.

    Cheer up sweetie! You are such a nice a person. I hate to see you going around feeling sad.

    Big hug!
    Melissa XX

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  3. Sorry to read this. Now, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that the outcome you dread is one of many possible paths and it is not in any way a foregone conclusion.

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  4. Thanks all, things seem to be getting better today (mainly). Still not 100% but getting there.

    Stace

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  5. I just put myself in your post and totally felt what you were going through in IKEA, Stace.

    I hope you're doing better now.

    Calie xxx

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  6. Thanks Calie. It's going better now - not perfect, but better.

    One of my friends has told me to try and use my project management skills to deal with it. I don't know if this is going to happen. If it is then it's somewhat in the future. As he put it, in his geeky way, in your MS Project plan that's way in the future - and tasks way in the future you don't need to be concerened about right now. Right now you need to be concerened about the tasks in progrress now, and coming up in the short term.

    Easier said than doen though...

    Stace

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