Sunday, 10 February 2013

Sleeping is not time wasting

The last week has been exhausting (I know I say that a lot, but the last week…  Wow!) and so I’ve had so very little time / energy to get to the laptop to do anything…

I started on Monday, we had an appointment and so we began working from home before 7am, on the bright side it meant that I started my working week about 3 meters from our espresso machine.  And I took advantage J

So, trip to the hospital (where the appointment was 20 minutes late) and then rush to work to continue the day.  For some reason I could not get away on time, though thankfully the traffic was not that bad, and then I had to continue doing something that was urgent (and I needed to make up the time for the appointment).

Thankfully I did manage to get my running done when I got home (still slow from my best ever time, but it’s getting there again).

The next day I got to work on time, but had to leave early.  So another appointment (10 minutes early this time!) and then home in semi-rush hour traffic.  Again time to work out (woohoo) and get some food prepared.  The evening was supposed to be making up for lost time from the appointment again and then relaxing, but as there was something else urgent that didn’t happen during the day, and both of us stopped working just 40 minutes before we went to bed.  Really not enough time to relax…

Wednesday was supposed to be a fun day with a new project, but for various reasons that did not go to plan.  There was a lot of work with the product owner, project leader and me to try and figure out how to get things back on track and I left the office about 90 minutes late.

Into the worst traffic I’ve seen for a while.  Where one of the motorways was closed. And where I had to take a country lane route.  With lots of other people who would rather be on the motorway, and not waiting for traffic lights at a junction only designed for light traffic.  From the start of the queue to getting through the green light was about 25 minutes instead of just 1and a journey that normally takes 45 minutes took more than 90 L On the bright side I spent the remains of the evening with my sister in law, her husband and their three children.  Always a lot of fun J

Thursday was just ug.  Again, start from home before 7am, yet another morning in a hospital (three times in one week gets over the top – don’t worry, not me and nothing bad) followed by a trip to the dentist where I needed to get a tooth filled.  Now, I hate going to the dentist.  It makes getting my face lasered seem like the good option.  And Mrs Stace had an appointment so I was on my own.

Thankfully this time the anaesthetic worked completely and apart from major stress it was fine.

A trip to the office (75km from the dentist’s office) on the phone to the project leader discussing the previous day again (hands free, and ignoring him when I needed to for the traffic).  Got to the office grabbed some sandwiches and ate whilst working (for the 4th time that week!).  Followed by a tiring, long but great group session about the project.  Which also made me very, very late home – and stuck in traffic *again*.  In fact I was that late home that working out was not on the cards.  In fact I was even going to avoid cooking and just buy something from the snack bar (crap food that I would have regretted…) except that Mrs Stace pointed out that the meat in the fridge needed using that day.  So…  I made my home made Spaghetti Bolognaise (and it was lovely, so much better than snack bar food would have been – shame on me for even considering it!) And then tried to relax for the hour or so that was left before bed time…

Friday started awfully.  Something happened in the office that upset me so much that I could not concentrate for most of the morning, and I ended up in tears in front of my boss when we were out talking about it, and colleagues when they asked if I was OK.  That is something that I do not do, I do not cry easily but I was just so gone I my head with it all.

It was sorted in the afternoon, and all is well now, but I was exhausted, aching from the stress and adrenaline and feel like a complete fool for getting so upset in front of people.

The rest of the day is somewhat of a blur, except for the last 90 minutes that I really enjoyed.  Firstly an hour putting our technology roadmap on a time line for the year, figuring out when we *can* do things, as well as when we *need* them.  And solving conflicts when they don’t match.

And finally, just before leaving we found out why something that we have been working for a few weeks is not returning the right values. OK, new product IDs from the company and within 15 minutes I had the code fixed, the web master had deployed it and the product owner had tested the results and was happy.  Now being able to do things like that just before leaving does make me feel great!  And allowed me to start the weekend on a high!

The only thing was that exhaustion caught up with me rather quickly.  By 8:30 I was dozing on the sofa and I completely missed the last 90 minutes before going to bed!  I thought I had left that behind a couple of weeks ago – but apparently not…

Now, time for breakfast and get ready for helping my brother in law clearing a couple of rooms to get ready for building work they have this week.


  1. Lucky you are a girl and can cry...

    1. Yeah, but as Mrs Stace said - don't go being a stereotype :)

      On the bright side it's better than getting stressed and trying to break my knuckles on a wall as I have done in the past. Oddly enough, less embarrassing too...

  2. Hi Stace!

    Wow, I'm exhausted just from reading all of that!

    My parents and my sister and - well, everyone who knows me ;c) - constantly tell me I need to learn how to relax. I think it's the result of a lifetime of terror at the prospect of being alone with my thoughts. Now it's hardwired, and difficult to undo. Sounds like you may be the same.

    I'm intrigued to hear that you have difficulty crying too. It's been a struggle for me my entire life, and remains so even after starting HRT. Oddly enough, it was a very upsetting day at work that finally broke down that wall just before Christmas for me as well. Luckily I was home at the time, but I reached out to two work friends who know about me (who were wonderful). But like you, I was embarrassed and utterly drained afterwards.

    I think it was crucial to my transition though. Shortly after that was when I first was addressed as a woman in public (while in boy mode), the first of a number of other big steps that followed in rapid succession. I don't think it's a coincidence.

    That said, I do wonder why I cry so infrequently. I wish I could cry more often. Oh well, I suppose tears will come when they are supposed to come!

    I hope you get your beauty sleep, Stace, and that your conditioning continues to improve. It's back to the gym for me this week - finally! - after more false starts than I care to think about. I will welcome the resulting soreness as a long-lost friend. :c)

    Have a wonderful week!


    1. Hmm, learn to relax... Yup I know that one. Since my dad had a heart attack a few years ago he has been telling me I have to learn how to relax. The problem is my mind races whenever I try to.

      Now less than before, but even so I can't shut off. I'm working way too hard at the moment, lots of things coming up at the same time. Lots of things that need doing this month, but more that need doing 'today'.

      I actually reached the point today where I had 10 minutes spare (after working through lunch) and I honestly was that shocked at having time available that I could not remember what else was on the list. And tomorrow it all starts again. (Which is better than yesterday where I was still working at this time - and for the next hour and a half; I stopped just 10 minutes before going to bed)

      I was going to say that I have always had difficulty crying, but that is not true. From the age of about 15 I have not been able to cry easily. Until that point I used to get told off for crying too much. I think that I was told by that many people, that often that it's wrong to cry that I managed to block the ability to. It's something that happens more now, but it's still something that I instinctively try to stop before it starts (which annoys Mrs Stace).

      Sleep is happening (but not enough!) and the condition is coming along. Mind you, I thought I had caused myself serious damage yesterday. It was 0c (but -8 with the wind chill) and after 45 minutes in it my legs and stomach were covered in red blotches from the cold. I can't wait for spring!