Wednesday 18 November 2015

Is it that long already?

Just a quick post seeing as my laptop battery is about flat...

Today I received a wonderful SMS from my parents. 

'Hi darling daughter. Happy first birthday. Dad and I are so proud of you. Love you lots xxx'

At the weekend I had realized that this week is 1 year.
Yesterday I realized that it was one year from leaving my son behind and heading to hospital.
To be told that I had a fever and the surgeon had to be consulted about whether or not I would be sent home.
To be left alone scared and facing the unknown.
Happy and terrified in a way that I can't explain and that quite a few who knew  me did not appreciate.

However, this week the Dutch health insurance goes into overdrive and I have been working 12 to 14 hours days.

This morning I was so focused on getting the systems in the office working, and getting the errors that we had solved that I didn't stop to think that:

At 7:30, whilst I was driving to the office, it was when someone came in to take blood to double check that I was not too ill to be operated on.
At 8:30, whilst racing between rooms trying to organize a hotfix, I was being taken upstairs to the operating theater
At 09:00, whilst I was delaying a meeting to get the required people to test the hotfix, I was having my hand harpooned as the anesthetist could not find my vein!
At 09:30 whilst taking 5 minutes for a cup of tea to recover from the stress, I was being put under.
At 13:00, whilst in a team meeting, I came to for the third or 4th time (I think) and had no idea what was going on :)
At 16:00, whilst in a planning meeting, I was having nonsensical conversations with Mrs Stace that I have no memory of :o

It's been a tough year, and dilation is still not the high point of my day to put it bluntly, but what a ride and so, so worth it.

I know that some people see it as a birthday, but I really don't. It was a step, big, huge and very important, but a step still, in a long process. But, that SMS from my parents means the world to me :)

Stace

2 comments:

  1. Two things to celebrate here really: that wonderful message of support and the reality that this is not something you think about any more.
    An opportunity may not present itself again, so please accept sincere wishes for all the very best to you and your family. As well, thank you for your support over the years Stace.

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