Friday, 16 May 2014

Finding yourself

Life is streaming past at the moment and it seems that every time I sit down to write one of two things happens.

1) My brain shuts down and says enough computers already
2) I find that I don't have the time to actually do anything and end up hating what I have written.

So let's see if this one gets finished!

Lot's has happened over the last few weeks. The little guy got his first illness, the fifth disease. Normally this is not a problem for children. They get 'slapped face' syndrome, maybe a fever and feeling a little under the weather and then they recover.

When the patient is 9 weeks old doctors get nervous and concerned.Which in turn gets parents very nervous and concerned. Lots of temperature checks, lots of making sure he is comfortable. Lots of him going to  sleep in our arms rather than in his bed.

Thankfully he never managed to get to the 38 degrees, if that had happened then it was probably going to be a hospital case, even though he got very close at one point. But, he soon dropped back to normal and started to get his normal personality back, and lost his slapped cheeks.  Phew. We were beyond stressed.

He has started daycare - and is coping far better than us :) In fact he is enjoying smiling away at the nursery nurses there!

Me? I've been cleared for my operation, from a laser point of view anyway. I saw my surgeon for the first time this week. He seems a very nice guy, was very personable and actually spoke to me, not about me. Anyway, he has told me that as far as he is concerned everything is good to go, though not to cancel my last appointment in a few weeks :)

I told him I was terrified of the operation, not the results, but the operation itself. I liked his response. I would be more concerned if you told me you were not worried.

There is another delay, but I am not really ready to go into it just yet.

So the title. Nothing really to do with the above, more to do with changes in me. Obviously being a parent changes you. And in ways that I could not imagine, and can't put into words.

One of the things that has changed is that I now go out more without make-up. It has more happened from lack of time, but previously I would have been late. Now I just go out without it.  It's a very stupid thing really, and yet it's not small...

One of the other things is that I have started to look at clothes more from what I like, rather than always asking whether or not people will be asking if I am trying to hard. Literally everything in my wardrobe was brought with that question not just in the back of my mind, but on my lips. And there have been well meant comments in the past. Not saying there was something wrong with what I was wearing, but more saying I didn't need to wear it. I always steered clear of dresses. I assumed I didn't have the body shape for them, and so didn't wear them.

Until Christmas when I got a lot of compliments on my Christmas party dress - or more my wedding reception dress (for the wedding we couldn't go to in the end because of the little guy). And so I tried another just as a day to day dress. And liked it. And so I went a little OTT and have a new style. 50's a line dresses feature a lot.

And I don't care any more. I like them, I think I look OK (as good as a personal opinion is ever going to get for myself) and I'm wearing them.

Now to unwind on for the final of Master Chef! 


  1. I hope the little one is soon on the mend. When they're not well, it is worrying. Temperatures, they're not nice and there is that concern that it could get worse....although they (thankfully) rarely do. Wee Man had a bad one when he was young and ended up in hospital overnight. That said, he did okay - despite the hospital binding up his arm, which meant he couldn't suck his thumb. Doh! :-) All ended fine now.... Larks, he'll be 11 soon.

    I think, with nippers, the personal grooming gets pushed to the side a little. Not to say you're unkempt! :-) I wonder, is it priorities? Do I need to do a 'full face', or shall I save that for special occasions?

    1. I think it was more the "I'm too tires to be bothered" in the first instance. And then once I had done it for a while I just wore make up less and less when not at work. Work is still full face :)

      11 already? He was only a little boy when I started to read your blog! Is it going to go as quick with mine?:S (Has it really been 4.5 years already!)


  2. Hi hon!

    Blogger seems to have snacked on another attempted comment, but I am nothing if nor persistent. :c)

    I am happy to hear Stace Jr. (sorry - couldn't resist!) is feeling better. It must be such an awful feeing when your child feels poorly and you don't know what to do to help. Well, besides love them (which is quite a lot, needless to say!).

    Congratulations on getting the all-clear (enjoyed your little play on words there, Stace :D) from your electrologist. Very exciting! And I hope the issue you alluded to proves to be a minor one in terms of your surgery date.

    It's funny - we are coming at the makeup issue from opposing poles. I have a partially-written post about this, but *wearing* makeup has been an issue for me, for reasons I will go into in my post. But for both of us, I think it comes down to the same thing: confidence. Based on the few photos of you I've seen, hon, you look lovely just as you are. Just my two cents, sweetie!

    Hope you have a good week, hon! Wonderful to hear from you!!!

    Hugs & love,

    P.S. I am really enjoying Elbow's new album. I think I mentioned it to you previously, but I suspect you, Mrs. Stace, and the little guy would all enjoy it. You know, in your copious amounts of free time. lol

    1. It's great when it does that isn't it?

      I'm currently looking at him on the baby monitor trying to find his thumb :)

      You have only seen photos in make up :p I think that the thing for me is that I can make the most of whatever features I consider not too bad, and disguise the ones I hate. I don't go over the top (I hope!) but just try to soften the skin and highlight certain areas :)


  3. I don't think I expressed myself clearly - what I was trying to say was that you do not need makeup, hon. You looke wonderful regardless! There, that was what I meant! :D

    == Cass