Sunday, 12 July 2009

Time for something a little more serious

You know what... When I started this blog I thought it was going to be a place where I could be my en-femme self without any worries.

But, in the time since I created it on Friday I've changed the name three times as I just don't know what I want from it. It's the first time that I've actually come out to the world that I am in fact a tgirl - although the fact that it's an unknown, anonymous blog actually helps matters :)

I’ve found that reading other TG blogs over the years has helped enormously. I just wish that I could pass something back on to others. The courage that others have shown in coming out amazes me - where you find it I do not know. I have to say though - whilst I long to have to courage to actually do it, I don't think I ever could. On top of my lack of courage in others understanding, I have a kind of immovable object, unstoppable force kind of problem. My other half knows about what I do - but she is not totally happy with it. She accepts it as long as she is not involved and it's kept totally private. She is also the world to me - and nothing on this earth could make me do something that would in any way jeapodize my relationship with her. On the other hand I have this nagging pressure in my head about what I am and what to do about it. Most of the time I have to say it's not so much of an issue. Other times, like recent weeks, it's hell - and so terribly lonely, stressful and confusing.

I think that in reflection this blog will tip between three areas - my love of gadgets, my en-femme side, and these moments where even writing the above and admitting it to myself outloud as it were helps a little...

To try and finish on a brighter note... The dress is still there to look at :)

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