Sunday, 6 November 2011

Tough week

This last week has left me absolutely shattered!  Stress both inside and outside of work has really taken it's toll, which has either left me open for illness or the illness that I had took advantage of my stress and really knocked me for six!

It started last weekend, when the cold came back and really attacked me - it really floored me over the whole weekend.  On monday morning I had an appointment with a mouth hygienist and I got halfway there before I realised that I would not be driving from the appointment to work as I had planned.  I didn't feel safe and thought that driving another 50KM in rush hour, motorway traffic was a bad idea.  There are times when it is a really bad idea to be ill - and this week was one of them!

Our biggest project of the year was going live on Thursday and Monday was the day when we decided if we could make the live date.  Thankfully I could just about think so I simply worked from home as best as I could.  Many emails and phone calls later and we were almost ready.

Tuesday was always going to be stress full.  Two hospital appointments in one day was never going to be nice, and as I had not been in the office on Monday I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to change my plans of working from home before the appointments and go in for a couple of hours.  Unfortunately that added about 100km to my driving for the day!

A drive there, a few fraught meetings, but everything was back on track.  Phew!

I left for the appointments, got there with 10 mins spare for the first one.  All went well until the nurse said that I needed a blood test.  Now I don't do needles very well at all (bodes well for when I start on hormones and need a baseline doesn't it?) so that sent my anxiety sky high!

Blood test complete (and almost painless as normal - why it bothers me I don't know!) it was time to get to the second hospital.  A drive across Amsterdam later and I was there.  This appointment was for a logopedist to baseline my vocal cords and arrange a speech therapist.  In theory this should have been the simplest part of the day - but in order to baseline they use a camera on a stick to video your vocal cords.  They tried a few times but my gag reflex made it imposible for them.  They tried one last time, with me more upright, and trying my hardest to relax and to begin with I thought that it was going OK.  It was not comfortable but I was not chocking. Then chocking stopped being the problem and I projectile vomited over myself, the chair and the doctor.  Great.  At that point they gave up and said that my voice was fine, and at a good baseline level for therapy and that they could go ahead without the camera.

So I left, still covered in vomit as they only had dry clothes to clean myself up with and went home to do some more work on the release - when all I wanted to do was collapse on the sofa!

Wednesday, Thursday were fairly uneventful - even though though the stress of the release remained.

Friday...  A day of opposites for me.  It was Mrs Stace's birthday so I had taken the day off of work anyway.  In the morning I was expecting confirmation of the disgnosis so I was stressed out.  And then...  Nothing.  I called the clinic and they could not find the status of my file.  I was supposed to get a call back in the afternoon, but it never happened. Such an anti-climax to the day :(

The rest of the day however went great - my in laws came over (my sister-in-law shares a birthday with her sister - just a couple of years older) and we had a great time.  Good food, some great New York Cheesecake and an amount of alcohol later we had a good evening.

This weekend?  Well the cold didn't attack again, so I have started running for the first time in weeks.  Lets hope it stays that way for the next week!


  1. Now I feel tired! Going for a lie down!

  2. Cheesecake, the great healer. :-)

    It sounds like you've really been through the wars. I hope you are feeling better now.

  3. Caroline: :) I still have a few weeks of mayhem for the project (we keep on improving it until late into December and they are still looking for new functionality). Then I can hopefully sleep!

    Lynn: Absolutely! Until I think about the scales! but we have one slice left to split between us :)

    I think everything was just starting to get to me a bit. Hopefully it's going to settle down - I don't mind the full plate, but would like to keep priorities and work schedule constant for a while.


  4. Never mind the damn scales, chocolate, and stat!

    Hope this week's working out better.

  5. Oh wow... ! What a pain. Has it put you off sorting the voice out?


  6. Jenny: I'd love some chocolate - we just don't keep it in the house (otherwise we'd eat it :p)

    So far it's been stressful as hell getting the site live - I don't know anyone who managed less than 30 hours in the first 3 days of the week! It's settled down now though - and I actually left on time today! Woohoo!

    Chrissie: It wasn't the most fun I have ever had!

    It's not put me off, actually it was nice to be told that I have a good base, and to be told what I need to work on is intonation and articulation more than tone, pitch and resonance.

    But I am not looking forward to going back later and have them check my cords after the therapy to ensure that I am not forcing them and causing myself injury!


  7. OMG! I had never heard of this method of base-lining your vocal cords prior to speech therapy. The thought of doing this...well, I just could not do it. I remember just how panicked I was when I had my endoscopy. I kept putting it off but there was reason to have this test done. In the end, they put me out and it was painless. I wonder why they could not have done that for you?

    With all of that said, I can safely say that I would do whatever it took to complete my transition and to live life normally as a woman.

    I hope that, by now, the stress has eased up a bit.

    Calie xxx

  8. The problem with putting me out whilst they do it are twofold:

    1) It's supposed to be a 45 minute out patient procedure
    2) You have to speak whilst they are doing it (well make noises anyway) so that they can put the frequency to the reaction of the cords.

    I'm kind of in limbo at the moment with stress... I think it's the calm before the storm. We'll see what happens as they week wears on...

    But at the moment I'm still smiling!