Bzzz, Crackle, Bzzz

And I am not referring to the sound quality of our new HD channels (the cable provider has just changed so that all normal channels are transmitted in HD - but sometimes as tonight the sound quality is not as good as it could be!!!!)

No.  I am referring to the sound made by my skin this afternoon.  After a summer break I started laser again.  This time at a dermatologists practice, once that works with the VU Gender Clinic, and I have to say after just one visit the difference between this and the previous clinic is huge.

First off they took a good look at my skin, something that the first clinic didn't.  And I mean good.  A magnifying glass with a ring light attached.

Second they went over the area slower and with more precision.  Look through the glass, gel, zap, scrap off gel and look through the glass to make sure that the hairs have actually been zapped. And then move to the next area.  Then after doing each of the zones she checked the whole face again and zapped the hairs that hadn't been caught from the first round.

She then put on some anti-septic cream, and gave me a tube to use for the next three days morning and night to prevent any infections.  We arranged another appointment and she gave me a prescription for a tube of anaesthetic to use the next time.

And throughout we had a good chat.  So whilst I may be in pain, and whilst I may be 100 euros a session worse off I think it's going to be well worth it.

Just a shame that I lost all the time with the other company.  Hohum.  As my therapist said at least the other company caused no skin problems.

After a wonderful hour sitting in the char of the pain I got home to find my in laws dismantling out dining chairs so that we could put the old chairs and dining table into storage and pick up our new one.  We have brought a green oak table - that is fresh oak not painted green ;p, with a matching set of chairs. Well, I say matching, they look the same and are from the same company - but if they are oak then I am stronger than I thought, I can pick two up with ease. I get the impression the chairs may be pine framed...

The table is most definitely oak though.  It weighed a ton :)  However, when we put the legs on it we found out that they had given us legs for a table 30cm bigger than the one we bought.  So back to the shop.  They had our legs in the warehouse.  They said.  It turns out they had gone walk about (no pun intended).

So they said that they would order the new legs, and I asked if we could get a discount - we now have to live for a few weeks without a dining table and take yet another trip to the shop to get the correct legs.  The guy at the service desk couldn't authorise that (wtf?) and had to call the store manager who annoyed the hell out of me.  'Not our problem, we haven't supplied the wrong legs, our suppliers have.'  Bull.  I pointed out that we brought them from the shop and not the supplier.  To be fair the guy behind the counter (NOT the manager) did what he could to help us.  It turns out that the table is on special offer this week, so I said cancel the order for me.  Order the table again (seeing as the they have to put an order into their supplier) and give me the discount price.  I'll accept that.

I hate computers.  With a passion.  Actually I hate programmers and systems analysts.  What should have been really simple suddenly becomes a major problem as it has to be done in such a way that the computer accepts it.  So rather than it taking a couple of minutes it took nearly 45.  But it was done, and we got a substantial amount of money back.  So we just have to live as students for a while and eat from our laps.

This evening we were supposed to be going to the culinary exhibition in the town centre, but as we were both tired from fighting the shop we decided to just eat in.  A table cloth on the (admittedly oversized) coffee table, and a spread of Chinese take away food looked very cute.  I'm sure we'll cope :)

On shopping and parents

After seeing my Sister in law on Saturday we were on full on finish cleaning mode on Sunday.  We needed to get the spare room finished and the other rooms tidied up.

Those plans got a little scuppered when we got an SMS from my sister in law asking if we fancied going to a Mexx warehouse sale.  Seeing as Mrs Stacy and I like Mexx we thought that we could go down for a quick look and see what is there.  The warehouse is only 20 or 30km's from home so it shouldn't take more than 90 minutes or so to get there, shop and leave.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

We were queueing to get in for an hour, spent an hour or more inside going through the racks and paying.  Oops.  Mind you, the clothes were *really* cheap.  Mrs Stace picked up a coat @ about 115 euros discount, I picked up three skirts @ 10 euros each (shop price was 50+ per skirt).  In total we spent 96 euros for a bag of clothing that was probably close to 500 euros in the shop!  That it's last seasons styles really doesn't bother me - I like clothes I like - fashion rarely figures in my choice of what I buy!

We spent the remainder of the afternoon getting the rooms cleaned and prepared and collapsed on the sofa in the evening to try and get some energy back :)

Yesterday morning came and I got ready to go and pick my parents up from the airport.  That did not go well!  My hair refused to go properly, the zapped hair from Friday showed through the foundation and I felt like a mess as a result.  There is nothing like confidence crushing images in the mirror just before leaving the house.  Esp when everything went so well on Saturday with my Sister in Law.

I was in half a mind to give up and get changed again - but I didn't have time to redo my hair as him so I just summoned up all the confidence I could muster and left.  Mrs Stace got a call from a colleague just before I left so she had to stay at home and take that.

I got to Schiphol and struggled to get into my walking shoes.  Eventually got out of the car and then had issues walking to arrivals (for somereason my skirt was full of static and sticking to my tights which meant it was riding up at the front).

I reached the arrival hall and waited for my parents to come out.  Shaking a little from nerves, but actually otherwise I was fine.  I wasn't staring round trying to see who was looking at me.  I was not trying to hide away so no one could see me (the amount of people crowding around the arrivals gate would  have made that impossible anyway!)  They came out we had a hug, walked back to the car and my mum said I looked a bit off.  I explained about the above and she said that if I was not feeling up to meeting them as Stacy why did I not just go as him.  I just thought if I can go out looking that bad and still act with confidence then I should not have an issue in future trips out.  She laughed and said that I didn't look 'bad', and that I still looked feminine.  I just looked like I was out from the night before :)

Got home and had a great day chatting, watching some TV etc.  They had not been to bed for more than 24 hours so they were shattered so they drifted off to sleep occasionally.  I was going to get changed, as the make up was starting to look awful - but my mum managed to convince me that it was fine and that I shouldn't worry so much.  I eventually got changed when they went to sit in the garden.  Should the neighbours see me when I going somewhere, so be it.  But I don't want to just sit in plain view in the garden that is overlooked from every side for Mrs Staces sake.  When they find out I won't have a problem doing it, but for now I'll try to avoid it.  All in al it was a great day.  They are currently asleep still from their travelling, and I am about to go for my run around the lake.  In the rain :(

Second visit to the hospital (and a bit more shopping)

On Monday I went to see my psychologist at he VU for the second time - I can't believe that it's been more than a month before my first visit!

I had decided that I was going to take public transport, both as a step that I think I need to make and because in rush hour I thought it was going to be the easiest way forward.  Right until I looked out of the window and saw how hard it was raining.  Car then.  I can do without turning up soaked to the skin, cold and with make up and hair styling gunk running down my face.

So I manage to park in the correct parking garage this time, rather than getting stuck in the permit holders entrance and turned up in time.

With the subject matter this month is was a very tiring session, thankfully I have a 5 week break before I go back again.

I decided to take advantage of being out as Stacy on the way home.  I want some shoes with a little lower heels that I can walk further in, and saw some lovely ones at Schiphol airport whilst waiting for a train a couple of weeks ago and though that I'd so some shopping as Stace.

That it was at one of the busiest airports in the world added a bit of tension I must admit :)  But there was nothing to worry about - I got my shoes (yay!), and had no problems with anyone.  The shoes are black nubuck Hoegl's, semi open with about a 6cm heel (much short than the 8's I was in ;p) and are *sooooooo* comfortable!

On the way home I stopped at the supermarket to get some milk.  And even had a laugh with the cashier when the guy in front of me took my milk instead of his own (at least he didn't try to take both bottles!)

The two ancillary trips went great, but I was, actually I still am, exhausted from Monday.  Whilst the appointment was not, or didn't seem to be, emotionally draining it was very tiring...

And I am going to try and stop buying shoes now!

Sometimes it's the simple things...

Just a really quick post... (I've been writing and proof reading my Live CV for the last week and I need to turn off this screen!)

Today was therapy day - and there was a high and a low...

The low was when turning up in Amsterdam.  My confidence has been quite high recently - and today was thankfully no exception.  Until I arrived and parked the car.  The street was very busy and I totally screwed up the parallel parking (and I thought I was improving there as well - in Hilversum I got it into a spot with no problems whatsoever!).  I had seen when lining up for parking that I was next to a block of flats, and there were a few tracksuited, baseball wearing caps and working on a scooter engine.  I panicked a little at that point - which really annoyed me as I was fine until that point and there was no reason to panic!

I eventually got the car into the fairly massive (certainly for Amsterdam!) spot, took some deep breaths and got out of the car.  Shoulders back, head high and pretended I had the confidence like I did when I was just staring this path.  In the end everything went fine and I just should not have worried!  Quite annoyed with myself...

The good!  The very good!

As Mrs Stace was working in the office today I picked her up at the train station to save her catching the bus home.  We had planned on pasta, but had forgotten the mushrooms.  So we went shopping.  Together, me as Stacy.  And she was less nervous than I was!  She even suggested our local supermarket to save wasting money on parking in the town centre.  A very successful trip, no looks and we got the mushrooms we were looking for.

And Mrs Stace was also fine.

A very good end to the day!  And from such a simple thing as buying a pack of mushrooms!

Stace

Nothing, Nothing, Slow, QUICK QUICK QUICK

About 12 months ago I had my intake appointment at the VU gender clinic.  they said at the time that it would take about 9 months to get the next appointment...

Now my therapist had already warned me that it takes longer than the 9 months that they try to stick to, so it wasn't too bad that it took longer than we initially thought.  My therapy was going well, and to be honest the delay was just giving me a chance to go work with my therapist - so it wasn't too bad.

A couple of weeks ago I sent them a mail to see if there was anything known about when my next appointment would be.  Nothing came back (I do know just how stressed and overworked they are so I am not overly annoyed by that)  so I called them on Monday and was told they had to find my files and that they would call me back.  On Wednesday I called them again and was told that they had a planning meeting for the psychiatrists and I would be called back today to make an appointment.  Result!

So at 11:50 I excused myself form the team lead meeting I was in (actually at that point the discussion was about a part of the system that I have nothing to do with, and no knowledge of so it wasn't too bad - and I had warned my boss that if I hadn't had a call by that time I would be making the call).

I got through with a few minutes to spare, the phone lines are unmanned after midday so you have to call in the morning, and was asked can you come on Monday at 3pm?

The same thing happened for the intake appointment - wait for a while and then suddenly 'can you come tomorrow'.

So now I am a bag of nerves...  I'm going to work from home on Monday morning and then leave from here, rather than sitting in the office first.

Down side...  I managed to get an appointment a couple of days after laser - when it's difficult to shave and get a nice look on my chin...  Oh well, beggars can't be choosers I suppose...

I've also been trying to break a few more barriers today (one of those barriers I have to break is thinking of everything as a barrier I suppose).

My new toy was delivered to the shop today (Mrs Staces laptop is dying so I have replaced mine and am handing mine down to her).  I was actually happy that it was today - it meant an excuse to take a trip on the way to therapy as it's just down the road.  So Stacy picked the laptop up.  I should have really ordered it under her name as well really - every time I was on the phone to them they thought I was my wife anyway.  Live and learn!  In the shop I had no issues though.

Outside I had a few.  There were some workers digging the street up next to the door of the shop.  In the middle of an industrial estate (200 euros cheaper than buying from a high street shop) I could have done without it.  I got comments.  Positive comments (as Mrs Stace and my therapist have pointed out - 'Lekker Ding'), but they did make me feel uncomfortable.  I have never had that before - I guess you have to get used to it.

Then afterwards I decided to break the petrol station barrier.  I don't know why, but filling up with fuel has always worried me as Stacy.  So I thought whilst I am on a roll, why not just do it!  There was a station nearby so I filled up.  Also no issues - absolutely normalcy :)  Except that in the middle of a windswept industrial estate I had to keep hold on to the hem of my skirt to stop it flying!

All in all a great day :)

Now breathe!

When does it stop...

After having a few weeks where I thought I was catching up with things, both at home and at work I now feel back to square one.

I am just not sure why I have so much on at the moment, or where the current interruptions are coming from, but they are coming fast and furious and just keep piling up and up.  On top of this it leads me to finishing the day exhausted, but having no idea where my time has been spent - which makes me worry that people think I am not pulling my weight as even I can't say where the time has gone.

I think I am going to have to make a list and see what I have to do, what can be done in the office, what can be done outside and when I think I can spend time at home to work without interruptions and try and cut the list a little.

The there is the outside stress.  A couple of weeks ago I sent an email to the VU to find out when my next appointment was.  I heard nothing back and so on Monday I called, they said they needed to find my files (it is about a year since I last went) and they would call me back.  Today I gave them another call, they had the file and are organizing their psychiatrists at the moment.  I'll get another call in the morning to try and arrange an appointment.

I have no idea when the appointment will be, but at least it seems that things are moving.  I sound positive, but I've been a nervous wreck since sending the first mail a couple of weeks back, and leading up to, and just following the calls I've been absolutely spent.  Which is daft (as Mrs Stace has told me), all I've done is make a call.  There is no need to be nervous about making a call...  And yet...

OK, finish on a positive...  Whilst I am shattered I have been doing a little more shopping this week :)  My online shopping trip from a couple of weeks ago never actually a happened due to running out of time (see my first paragraph...) but this weekend I made time for it.

So a couple of online shops hit, a lilac skirt, two pairs of skinny jeans, a couple of tops and a new beige blazer were ordered.  A mix of nice quality and cheap and cheerful (Zara and H&M) should mean that I should have enough outfits to hopefully last me the spring and the start of the summer (once I get a pair of low heeled black shoes and a handbag of course - to save me always stealing one of Mrs Stace's bags).


Now we just have to wait for everything to be delivered.  I was hoping that we would get it today so I could try the new things tomorrow.  But apparently not...  Everything is likely to arrive tomorrow.  One day too late.  Hohum :)

Show sizes

I have an issue with my current shoes, they are only any good for a short amount of time.  I have one beige pair with 8cm heels and I borrowed (stole?) a black pair from Mrs Stace that she doesn't wear very often that are also 8cm.

Whilst short distances are no problem for me - I can walk in the shoes without a problem when just walking between the car and therapy, or the car and a cafe.  But when I last tried to walk a longer distance I ended up with blisters. Mrs Stace suggested (well actually she scolded me for buying shoes based on looks rather than comfort) that I get some with lower heels, that I can wear and walk in all day - we've been looking for a couple of weeks and there were a couple of pairs that I liked a lot:

I'd seen both shoes in the catalogue that came through the door a couple of weeks ago, the beige ones look fantastic in the pictures.  The grey suede, with the material ties just looked stunning on the model.  I hate most of my body (who doesn't) but my ankles I'm actually quite happy with - at 7,5" they are smaller than average and I do like shoes that show that off.
The black ones just looked like simple classy low heeled black shoes, nothing too showy - just nice.

We went to the shop to try them before food shopping on Friday evening (Mrs Stace went with her husband as she was going to try them for me), and that's where it went a little wrong :)

Firstly the materiel on the grey shoes is not actually material - it's a very soft, very fine leather.  And when you see it in the shop as just a mangled mess on display they look much less impressive.  For some reason I think a mangled mess of ribbon would look much better in the shop than the leather straps lying in disarray.  So with that in mind I thought there was no point in Mrs Stace trying them on - I needed to know what they looked like on me, with the clothes that I would be wearing with them.

The black ones do look pretty much the same in real life as in the catalogue (or on screen) and they had our size on display.  Mrs Stace tried them but they were a little too small. but not much too small. This proved an issue as whilst we have just about the same size we don't have exactly the same size.  Where as I am a 39/40 she is a 40/41 - and so we did not want to take the risk of buying them and finding that they were still too small.

And so we left the shop empty handed...

Yesterday we went back - Mrs Stace and Stacy - so that I could try the shoes on.  So a second trip out for the both of us.  Much more stressful for the both of us this time though - we went to the town center of where we lived and had a much higher chance of running into someone that we knew. And the town where we live is starting to get very popular - it's grown massively in the last 5 years or so as the town center has gone under regeneration.  Gulp, for both of us.

Secondly, we were going purely for the shoes.  And so purely to go to the shop where Mrs Stace brought a pair of shoes last week - with a good chance of being served by the same person and so being read wasn't as much a possibility as a given (I may not look too bad as Stacy but if you know me then you would know me...).  And of course buying shoes is a fairly intimate - you do not just pick something and go to the cashiers counter, you have to speak to the assistant, ask questions and get advice. Gulp again!

Now the reason for the title (took some time getting there didn't it! ;p) - I tried on the black shoes and they were indeed too small, my toes curled at the end and they were too narrow.  Damn.  Then I tried the grey ones (also in a 40) and they were like boats.  Damn again.

The assistant came and asked if I needed help, and yes, it was Mrs Stace's assistant from the previous week and whilst she was very professional I would say yes she knew very well that she had served Mrs Stace and me the previous week...  Hohum, at that point there is nothing else that you can do is there?  I tried to put it at the back of my mind.

She brought out the shoes for me. 41 for the black and 39 for the grey, and did I feel like a nutter asking for two shoes with such completely different sizes!

The grey ones fitted fine, a little tight across the bridge of my foot - but the assistant said that was as it should be, as long they were not painful, so that the leather can give a little when you break them in.  The straps looks wonderful on and so they were a definite yes.

The black ones on display must have had the wrong size put on them though.  I tried the 41's and they were so big I walked out of them.  Which is such a shame as they were also nice looking shoes on!

So I took the grey ones, we went back to the car and started to breath again.  Another successful trip I think - or at least we survived :)

Work, Therapy and Shopping!

This week has been terrible in the office…  I have been exhausted with the pain in my jaw (though thankfully it's now gone completely), and have simply been too busy doing unplanned work – no matter how much time I block in my agenda someone always comes and asks if I can unblock it, and there is normally a good reason for it; it’s just a shame that it doesn't help the things that are always on the back burner.  As a result I fall further and further behind with the tasks that are not less important - just less urgent...

Friday was the worst day or the week for me.  There was a problem with a project: poor inter-departmental communication and misuse of tools that have made it almost impossible to keep track of.  The person involved sent a mail saying that this was an example of why we need to change things and so I tried to arrange a meeting to discuss it.  No going, ‘I don’t want to be involved.’  My boss however made an appointment anyway and we had a discussion – I already have the solution outline that fits in the direction that the development team wants to take anyway.  This got a warm response from most involved in the meeting and I am going to fill out the outline with to something I can go over with the developers and project teams next week.  I'm doing this from home on Monday to ensure that I can actually do the work - and not spend my time on the unplanned things - it's the only way to ensure that it will actually get done.

Then in the afternoon I had to help the other development team change on of our import applications.  I was not impressed that this needed doing – the people involved shout very loudly, and constantly that they are senior developers and demand to be treated as such.  If you are going to make these statements loudly then I think it’s a good idea to follow it up with actions and when debugging a very simple application it shouldn’t take the two of them working for a week, plus a half day of my time.  Since becoming team lead I have not coded that much, and whilst I still read code fine, I am not a fully geeked up techie anymore – and yet I had the layout of the code in my head inside an hour, and I was actually deciphering the details as I was explaining it to the coders.  And still it was not coming across and I had to keep going over how the application was built, and why I thought that lines written along the lines of 'Product.CompanyName = xmlDoc.FindNode("CompanyName");' fills the product company name from the XML document field 'CompanyName'.  I am not the best teacher in the world (I just don't have the patience to be honest) but I just can't help thinking that the code was fairly self explanatory - we do have some seriously complex code and this just isn't it.

When I eventually got back to my teams room ‘Air on a G String’ was playing, I had the guy who controls the music rewind it to the start and turn it up and just sat in the corner, eyes closed practicing a breathing exercise to get rid of the stress - the people involved don't just say 'I don't get it' they argue that you can't be right, over and over again.  I could have had a better end to the week...

Earlier in the week was not so bad. On Thursday I had another therapy session – it was a very relaxing session this time, discussing the shopping trip last week; how it made both me and Mrs Stace feel.  I think that one of the biggest changes after the trip was actually evident just before the session.  I went to my friends flat to get changed and there were absolutely no nerves when leaving, or when walking in Amsterdam, or when coming home.  For the first time I was completely comfortable for the whole time – to the point that it was not until afterwards that I realised that it was not a problem.  :)

Of course one disappointment from last week was that we didn’t manage to get everything that we wanted (well, actually, all we managed to find was a summer coat for me!  And then it went cold again so I couldn’t even wear it on Thursday!).  Mrs Stace managed to correct that slightly yesterday when we went shoe shopping – she got herself a lovely pair of low heeled shoes for spring.  I’m thinking of getting the same shoes in grey. We actually went in for shoes for me, I had seen some lovely ones in a catalogue that came through the post, but in real life I am not so sure.  I have to go back as Stacy and actually try them on and see how they look I think - maybe they are completely different on than they look sitting on a shelf...

Today we are going to go in for an online shopping trip – I have seen a couple of really nice outfits on zara.nl that I am thinking of getting for spring, and Mrs Stace is going to try and see if she can find something as well :)

A busy day

Mrs Stace managed to make a liar of me this week, in a very good way I’ll add.

On Wednesday I answered a comment from Melissa that Mrs Stace was not ready to go out with Stace just yet, that she had to go at her own pace and that I was not going to push matters.

Well that all changed that evening over food.  We had already planned to go shopping that weekend, Mrs Stace wants some new trousers and I need a new outfit.  Over dinner Mrs Stace said that she had been thinking that it was time to bite the bullet and go shopping with Stace instead of male me.

So Saturday came, I went running – with a lot of pain in my jaw still :( - and got ready as Stace.  I had a bit of confidence crisis, resulting in me putting on too much make up as I was convinced what remained of my moustache was showing through the foundation like a beacon.  Mrs Stace told me that there was nothing showing, and that I was panicking for no reason.  I think that both of us were getting a little worked at the point of leaving, it was a big step for both of us; the first time out with me as Stace for her, and the first time in a really busy place for me.

The first job of the day was to find out where everything was (as we had not been to that shopping centre before and find somewhere to eat.  I actually felt pretty good, once out of the car.  When parking and changing from my driving shoes into my boots I was a bag of nerves (just what you need when parking in a narrow, busy multi storey car park!), but once I stepped out the car it was too late to panic.  Walking through the shopping centre I actually felt pretty OK.  There were no obvious looks, or following glances.  We found the shops that we wanted to look at and went to a department store to eat.  We had a chat and some lovely sandwiches – salmon for me and ham for Mrs Stace – and sat for a while before starting to shop.

Or almost starting to shop – first up I needed a bathroom break.  I was really hoping to avoid this; it is one thing to need a bathroom break in a nearly empty café at the end of the evening but in a busy department store and having to queue before going in.  In the end it was worrying about nothing, no looks, and no comments – just a pleasant attendant taking my money.  So the hurdle jumped time to start shopping in earnest.

I found an Esprit trench coat for spring in beige – and actually trying that on in the shop made me feel amazing self-conscious.  I don’t know why but I suddenly felt on display – I tried to hide it and carry on regardless.  Mrs Stace also seemed to struggle at this point – though she could not say why.  I loved the coat, and but cannot fathom why sizes vary so much.  When I was looking for a winter coat I had to go for an XL (though Mrs Stace says there is no way that it is XL).  The tops I buy are M, and skirts and trousers are 36/38.

And then I buy a coat that is 40, as the 42 buried me.  I have a suggestion for the fashion industry…  Why not make a range of standardised sizes so that when out shopping it is easy to find the size you are looking for by picking up an article that is the same as your normal size so you have some idea of how it is going to fit.  We looked around some more – Mrs Stace picked up some trousers and a nice top and we went to the changing rooms.  Oddly enough in Holland this is a non-issue as they are mixed anyway so there were no nerves here.

She didn’t like what she had picked when on so she went to put them back and I went to pay for the coat (another nervous hurdle jumped!) and we went to look in other shops.

We browsed through some other shops and ended up at We.  There things went a little wrong for me (my fault, I was a little stupid).  We had picked up an amount of things and I then found a lovely skirt.  The problem was that it was the skirt to a jacket that Mrs Stace brought last week.  I was stupid enough to say “I’ll leave it; you don’t want me stealing your jacket do you”.  That manage to get a look apparently – the first one that either of us had noticed (maybe I need to start believing my therapist on my passability a little more).  I kind of brushed that off, we went into the changing room and tried our selections on.  And again with the sizes…  I was walking around in a 36 skirt, I had taken a 38 skirt into the changing rooms and…  It only just fitted (where as the 36 skirt that I had on had a little breathing room), and didn’t fall the best.  And the top that I had wanted to try was also not the best.  And was even worse when I took it off and found I had left some foundation on it…

That experience, and the fact that the painkillers I had taken for my jaw were wearing off, made me want to just go home – so we left at that point.

But, the day in general was a success I think.  Mrs Stace coped well – she was nervous at the start and a little uncomfortable but she said it was not as bad as she was expecting.  I’m going to count that as a result for the first trip.  And I managed to keep my head for most of the trip – it was a real confidence builder for me.

A weekend away (sorry long post!)

This weekend Mrs Stace and I took a trip to the UK.  I had some shopping to do, and as my parents were going down to see family as well I thought it would be nice to try plan my trip coincide so that we could have a family get together.

The trip started interestingly – we got 20 KM’s from home and had to turn around as we had forgotten the car documents.  If we had have been staying in The Netherlands I would have risked the fine of not having them on me.  But with three countries to drive in I thought that I had better get them…

We reached the Euro Tunnel and things started to get boring…  The journey from the French border control to the UK border control (200m or so) took 40-50 minutes…  We wondered if the UK border control agents are completely ashamed working so closely to the French agents who are courteous, pleasant and speedy – as opposed to the UK agents who are slow, grumpy jobsworths.  We were in a Dutch car, with me sitting on the wrong side.  Passed them a Dutch passport for Mrs Stace and a UK passport for me; the first question was ‘Why are you going to the UK?’ This was followed by ‘Oh, I see UK passport you are just going home, where have you been?’  Going home?  In a Dutch car?  ‘No I live in the NL, we are going to the UK to visit family.’  Why you can’t just say ‘I have a UK passport so I am allowed to go there’ I am not sure…

By the time we got to where we were going it was very late and we were exhausted.

The next day we went speaker shopping.  Mrs Stace, my mum and her sister went shopping and my father and I went to demo the speakers I was thinking of buying (expect a review soon).  An hour of listening to all types of music (a nice mix of rock, classical, trance, pop and vocals) and we brought them (along with an extra amp to power the low frequency drivers) – sorry I go into geek mode with the stereo system :)

After meeting up with Mrs Stace and the rest for lunch we went to pick up the speakers.  We piled into the shop and they brought them up from the basement.  Mrs Stace went into shock at the size of the box that came up.  Then I went into shock when I saw that it said 1pc on the side – I started to panic; I may drive a Volvo estate, but it’s only a little V50!  We managed to get the boxes to the car (using a trolley from the shop – at 33kg per box we couldn’t carry them!)  Thankfully with the seats folded down they *just* fit into the car (maybe 10cm to the side and enough room at the ends to fit the box for the amp and our little suitcase.  Phew…

That evening we had a family get together, at my aunt’s house with nearly all the family there (including my cousin who I have not seen in a few years).  It was a great night, a real laugh – going down memory lane and talking about old family holidays.  There were only two spoilers for the evening.  Mrs Stace and I were still shattered from the travelling – it seems that getting up at 4:30 (UK time) driving 60 miles to work and back, doing 4 hours (and forgetting to drink due to trying to get everything in the office completed) and then driving for 9 hours to get to Leicester is not a good idea...

The other was something that I have not had to deal with for some time now…  These days I get warned by my friend who works with me that I let my mannerisms come through too often.  I relax too much and have basically stopped caring about the rumours. Sitting in my aunts living room with everyone there that all came back to me and I spent the night trying to figure out how I should be sitting, talking, what to comment on - what not to comment on.  It was like being back at my parents’ house before telling them last year.  It didn’t spoil the night, but it was exhausting –  and when already shattered it didn’t help.  We left early so that I could drive back to my other aunts safely and slept as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next morning I woke up with a hangover.  Slightly unfair I thought seeing as I hadn’t drunk for days!  A leftover from the exhaustion and dehydration I think.  A couple cups of tea, and we left for a day’s shopping.

I had arranged to meet up with Lisa this trip, so dropping Mrs Stace off at Waterstones, and after picking up a packet of paracetamol I walked to the Clock Tower of the city I grew up in to meet someone for the first time in about 20 years – when I was young teenager that was always the meeting point…

I met Lisa and her daughters and we went for a drink and chat at Costa (where when they say large cappuccino they mean *large* - I drink large cups of coffee at home, but nothing compared to that!).  We must have spent an hour or so nattering – I hope that it was not too boring for her daughters – and then went to buy a couple of scrap books.   It was great to finally meet up – just a shame that it was on such a rushed weekend!  Hopefully we’ll have a chance to meet up again the next time we are in town.

I met Mrs Stace at Waterstones – with a nice selection of books to add to our collection – we went to pay (picking up along the way a Mouse and Gruffalo soft toys to put on top of the new speakers).  A healthy jacket spud later and we went clothes shopping.  Mrs Stace introduced me to a new brand (well new for me…).  Zara – she likes their clothes and I spotted a nice lilac canvas skirt that I will order online here soon.

A meal with my aunt, her husband and my cousin and his girlfriend (who I haven’t seen for a couple of years) and again a night of chatting, catching up and talking about life the universe and everything.  It got quite late and as we had a lot of driving to do the next day I dropped a hint of how tired I was (felt awful for doing that, but we really needed to be rested before leaving).

The next morning we had a nice cooked breakfast (thanks to my aunt) loaded the car (best bit of 3D puzzling I have done in a long time to get everything in).  The border crossing this time was easy – the French border control saw that we had passports and that was enough (why are the UK agents so useless?).

After we got home we just ate some soup (neither of us wanted anything substantial) and chilled (well I unpacked the speakers, I couldn’t wait :P).  Today has been setting up the stereo, tidying the cables and chilling.  Back to work tomorrow!

Can I just stop for a few minutes...

Well that went quickly...

This week there is no good or bad news...  My GD has been quite good this last week – more from the fact that I haven’t stopped than anything else really.  Things at work have just gone haywire in the last week.

In the Netherlands you can only change your health insurance once a year – and so any company that has anything to do with that industry has two extremely busy months at this time of year.  We were expecting a bit of growth this year, but visitors to the site have sky rocketed.  To the point where the infrastructure started to groan a little under the stress; a week of organising, fire fighting and stress followed but things seem under control.  My next task is to try and see what we need to buy in the medium term in order to keep it running smoothly.

I’m just trying to figure out what else has happened in the last week…  Almost nothing – I’ve worked, come home, collapsed and slept most of last week.

I made the HR woman laugh.  I was in the kitchen microwaving milk for my coffee when she was fetching something and she asked how things were going with me.  I said fine (which got a strange look) and I made the joke that I just don’t have time to think at the moment.  The strange look seems to be a Dutch thing.  I’ve had a couple of comments from people who know that how can I say fine when all of that is going on in my life. I just remove that from the ‘how are you’ question unless I am really having a bad week – it’s not something I try to concentrate on.  It is…  Something that is constantly there, but I feel that if I make my baseline 100% happy I’m just going to get so depressed.  So I don’t.  My baseline is an average day GD wise. If I happen to have a day when it’s not that present on my brain then that’s a bonus, but I know what I have to deal with in my head on a day to day basis and so I live with it the best I can.  Sorry tangent there :)

This weekend Mrs Stace and I went shopping.  Me for Skinny Jeans and boots, her for a new top.  Wow, was it busy.  It’s coming up to Sint Klas here in Holland (5^th December) and so everybody was out last minute shopping for the kids.  I found my jeans, and got some advice from Mrs Stace – she is not comfortable shopping with me, but tries.  We got her top from Mexx and then looked for an outfit I had seen there recently – but they had sold out.

Then came traipsing around the shopping centre looking for boots.  With bots being in fashion at the moment I was not expecting a problem – I have average sized feet for a woman in Holland, but was I wrong.  Either the styles were plain weird, cheap looking or they broke the budget at 130 euros +; there was a really nice pair that I found – but at nearly 200 euros I put them back quite quickly!

We finished most of the shops and I could see that Mrs Stace was starting to struggle with it all so we gave up and went home.  Stopping on the way for something to take the chill out of the air - a bottle of Baileys and a bottle of gluhe wine.  The Baileys I put in hot chocolate instead of milk (instant hot chocolate I add, I don’t drink a cup of Baileys with some chocolate flavour) and the gluhe wine for after coming in out of the cold – tea glass of that, microwaved for a couple of minutes is just what you need to get the warmth back into you :)

Yesterday I continued the shopping trip from the warmth and comfort of my living room.  A trip to Mexx found the outfit that I was looking for, but also a great alternative making me glad the shop had ran out (and a 30% discount coupon for online use).  A trip to a Dutch online shoe shop (nothing compared to Zappos, but hey) found a pair of leather boots with 50 euros discount.  More than I wanted to spend but they should last a while.  I keep telling myself :)

Then.. Finally… A call to my parents – living in the north of Scotland they are currently experiencing a lot of snow (it’s just started today in Holland).  Mum has managed to injure her back, so I gave her a call to see how she is doing and how the weather is.  We chatted about her back, about her work etc.

At the end of the call she asked how I was doing, I told her about the shopping (I had just finished my online shopping at that point).  And finished it with ‘And you can tell dad he doesn’t have to worry – the new skirt is knee length’

She cracked up (as did dad in the background), and told me that they had been speaking about me again – actually scratch that, it sounds bad somehow – they were discussing that they had seen Stacy again.  They are both surprised at how I scrub up when changed – still not sure I see what they see, but better that than the other way around, and mum ended up apologising again that I came out a boy.  But…  Apparently…  Something that dad said made me smile.  He said he was upset that he would never get to tell me who I could or couldn’t date.  And that he could never terrify anyone that wanted to :)

I thought that was amusing.  Maybe if I had lived it I wouldn’t have done…

I am wondering whether to send them a mail with an extract of my last post.  It feels like the cowards way out, but I would like them to know what’s going one and just can’t bring myself to tell them verbally.  We’ll see…

Right, time to start making mince pies!